10 Jobs That Won’t Exist in 10 Years
By
February 13, 2015

Technology is helping many new job markets grow and thrive. At the same time, it’s forcing some long-established careers to go the way of the “dodo,” (what they used to call door-to-door VHS salesmen).

Waiter: Touch screen menus will make order-takers expendable, and with predictive analytics, restaurants soon will know which Pizookie® you want before you even get there.

Also Endangered: Black Dickies Wholesaler.

Secretary: Voice recognition software will replace the tasks of typing and dictation, while remote-access networks will handle grunt work like copies and inter-office romances.

Also Endangered: Carpal Tunnel Brace Merchandiser.

Gas Station Attendant: With fossil fuels dwindling, governments will require car owners to convert to geo-positionally controlled hybrids that run on electricity and discarded iPhone packaging.

Also endangered: Squeegee Technician.

Drug Dealer: Massive legalization will let buzz seekers install automated drug vending machines that administer blood type-specific THC-infused sports drinks in their own homes.

Also endangered: Sublime T-shirt Screener.

Lumberjack: A paperless society chops no trees, and will also help an increasingly self-aware computer race get rid of the one profession armed with chainsaws.

Also endangered: “Save the Spotted Owl” Bumper Sticker Printer.

Postal Worker: Pre-programmed drones will deliver packages, sort mail, and kill off letter carriers in a bloody, coordinated attack signaling the rise of the machines.

Also endangered: Doorless Jeep Mechanic.

Bank Teller: No one will go to banks anymore thanks to online banking, check picture taking, and a computer-created collapse of the global financial system, reverting us to a barter system of grain seeds and Air Jordans.

Also endangered: Pen-on-a-chain Repairman.

Travel Agent: In just a few clicks, anyone will be able to book a full family vacation to any luxurious machine-controlled prison camp not in one of the earth sectors being bombarded by desperate, too-little-too-late human uprisings.

Also endangered: Carlsbad Caverns Pamphlet Printer.

Librarian: Online libraries and digital book tablets will outmode librarians, freeing them to join the newly victorious digital ruling class as a secret police force, cataloging dissidents and mercilessly shushing would-be rebellions.

Also endangered: Eyeglass Chain Repairman

Writer: As total human-binary assimilation settles in, ubiquitous data mining – from credit card transactions to choosing your fetus’s skin color – will give machines all the info they need to craft perfectly individualized entertainment, pacifying all needs and desires. In fact, labor statisticians believe that writers will become extinct any m

 

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