Yearly Archives: 2016

  • A Column Written By God For NewYorkTimes.com, December 23, 2016
  • The 12 Gifts of Christmas, December 22, 2016
  • Dear Santa, How Are You?, December 21, 2016
  • Hillary’s Woodland Adventures, December 21, 2016
  • Ben Affleck: My Lord And Savior, December 20, 2016
  • This Woman Is Holding A Bake Sale To Help Avatar Reclaim Its Spot As The Highest Grossing Domestic Film Of All-Time, December 19, 2016
  • The North Pole Elite, December 19, 2016
  • 7 Unspeakable Acts Your Favorite Muppets Committed that Prove Even the Most Pure of Heart Cannot Avoid the Temptation of Sin, December 16, 2016
  • Letter From a Dead White Man: “I’m Sorry”, December 15, 2016
  • 19 Really Annoying Things That Are Still Less Annoying Than You, December 14, 2016
  • Shelly Perlstein’s Letter To The Walkerville School Board RE: Today’s ‘Magic’ School Bus Field Trip, December 13, 2016
  • Top Selling Holiday Candles: A Pie Chart, December 12, 2016
  • Other Movie Warnings, December 12, 2016
  • The Worst Store Coupons Ever, December 9, 2016
  • Alternative Names For “Happy Hour”, December 8, 2016
  • Neil deGrasse Tyson Fixes More Science Fiction Movies, December 7, 2016
  • Why Shania Twain and I Should Be Best Friends: A Venn Diagram, December 5, 2016
  • Holiday Gift Guide For The Man Who Either Has Everything, or is Emotionally Unavailable, It’s Hard to Say. Honestly Stephen, What Do You Even Like?, December 5, 2016
  • Some of the Penalties Incurred During My Family’s Annual Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl, December 1, 2016
  • Writer’s Workshop Bootcamp Week 7, November 30, 2016
  • On the Judgement of Turkeys, A Review of New Restaurant TRKYC, November 29, 2016
  • Other People Who Should Be Booed If They Attend ‘Hamilton’, November 28, 2016
  • Anatomy of a Female Brain, November 28, 2016
  • Nasty Woman, November 23, 2016
  • Neutral Conversation Topics to Avoid Talking Politics With Your Conservative Relatives at Thanksgiving Dinner, November 23, 2016
  • Monster Pie, November 22, 2016
  • Thanksgiving Twenty Sixteen, November 21, 2016
  • A Detailed Map of LA Fitness, Hollywood Location, November 21, 2016
  • Concerned Citizens Who Saw Something And Said Something, November 17, 2016
  • 10 Things to Bring to the Movies, November 16, 2016
  • Daily Affirmations That Don’t Require You to Grow or Change, November 15, 2016
  • A Once In A Lifetime Opportunity With Me: A Famous Celebrity, November 14, 2016
  • Frisbee Enthusiast Approval Ratings, November 14, 2016
  • 8 Things I Have Said to Men to Remind Them That We Should be in Love, November 11, 2016
  • You Would Not Have Been My First Choice of Companion for this Rocket Trip Into the Sun, November 10, 2016
  • A Halftime Speech from a Football Coach Who Is a 9/11 Truther, November 9, 2016
  • Trump TV’s Fall Line-Up, November 8, 2016
  • Things That Could Be Useful After the Apocalypse, So You Should Probably Start Hoarding Right Now, November 7, 2016
  • Uncovered Brand Logo Secrets, November 7, 2016
  • Something Completely Awful Needs to Happen So I Can Buy Property Here, November 3, 2016
  • Realistic Festival 2016 Lineup, November 2, 2016
  • Tree, My Friend, October 31, 2016
  • Cosmic Casual #10, October 31, 2016
  • Postmodern Novel I’ve Never Read Or Craft Cocktail I Can’t Afford?, October 28, 2016
  • Bearbnb, October 26, 2016
  • A Perfect Morning Hike with My Future Wife, October 26, 2016
  • Things I Can Still Post Earnestly About on Facebook Once the Election Is Over, October 25, 2016
  • Suburban Dictionary, October 24, 2016
  • Spooky Creepy Fun Pranks, October 24, 2016
  • The Perfect Cleaner, October 21, 2016
  • Reasons This Waitress Thinks I’m Eating Alone at Buffalo Wild Wings at 4:30 p.m. on a Thursday, October 20, 2016
  • Corporate vs. Artistic: A Venn Diagram, October 19, 2016
  • It’s Fall Y’all, October 19, 2016
  • 7 “Off The Beaten Path” Things To Do In Lima, Peru, October 18, 2016
  • Cosmic Casual #9, October 17, 2016
  • Tooth Fairy, Your Business Model Is A Complete Failure, October 17, 2016
  • Why Are You Cancelling Your Audible Subscription?, October 13, 2016
  • October Caption Contest Winners!, October 12, 2016
  • Lies Told On A Recent First Date, October 12, 2016
  • Don’t Blow That Horn!, October 11, 2016
  • A Map of My Confidence About State Capitals, October 10, 2016
  • 6 Things You’ll Only Understand If Your Parents Accidentally Left You at a Dave & Busters for Three Days, October 10, 2016
  • So You Have an Ugly Baby. Now What?, September 23, 2016
  • Wrestling Names for Wimps, September 22, 2016
  • My Professor, September 21, 2016
  • Humans of Los Angeles, September 20, 2016
  • The Workhouse, September 19, 2016
  • You Are Ruining My Life, Mom. And Not In The Fun Way., September 19, 2016
  • Suicide Squad Goals, September 16, 2016
  • Remembering the Good Ol’ Days, When I Was an IHOP, September 15, 2016
  • September’s Caption Contest Winners!, September 14, 2016
  • Anne Frank, Abridged, September 13, 2016
  • Census Data: Men I Still Crush On, September 12, 2016
  • This Autobot Was Not As Billed, September 12, 2016
  • A Census of Your Wedding to a LaVeyan Satanist, September 9, 2016
  • Rejection Letter from True Love, September 8, 2016
  • If You Ever Wake Me Up Before My Alarm Goes Off Again, I Will Have No Choice But to Turn You into an Undead Pinion in My Mechanism for World Domination, September 7, 2016
  • Monotheism Makes God A Tad Bitter, September 6, 2016
  • How Dope You Look Breaking a Bone vs Age, September 5, 2016
  • List of Reasons Fathers Give to Their Children of Why Their Recent Camping Trip Together Was So Special, September 2, 2016
  • The Euphemisms in My Cover Letter, Explained, September 1, 2016
  • Personality Test: What Does Your Car Say About You?, August 31, 2016
  • Cosmic Casual #8, August 29, 2016
  • Letter From Dad, August 29, 2016
  • Attn: Dole Salad Kit Quality Control, August 26, 2016
  • 6 Places Besides Canada to Consider Moving to if Trump Becomes President, August 24, 2016
  • You Will Not Believe What Happens Next, August 23, 2016
  • I’m Voting For A Third Party Candidate Because The System Is Rigged And I’m Mad At My Mom, August 22, 2016
  • Yaaas Queen, August 22, 2016
  • Probable Reasons They Haven’t Texted You Back, August 18, 2016
  • I Ate Poison for a Month: This Is What It Did to My Body, August 17, 2016
  • 8 Things Every Voice in My Head Knows to Be True, August 16, 2016
  • Dog People vs. Cat People: A Venn Diagram, August 15, 2016
  • Avocado + Toast = Avocado Toast: A Memoir Part 2?, August 15, 2016
  • 5 Guys To Date This Summer Who Probably Have An Air Conditioner, August 11, 2016
  • Top Ten Worst Careers for Someone with No Teeth, August 10, 2016
  • Famous Last Words of Competitive Cooking Show Contestants, August 9, 2016
  • A Comedy “Piece” By A Writer Who Just Switched Places With His Dad After They Were Simultaneously Struck By Lightning, August 8, 2016
  • Periodic Table of Element, August 8, 2016
  • Dear Matt, The Ghost Who Ghost Texted Me, August 5, 2016
  • facebookfooter twitterfooter tumblrfooter rssfooter

    Sign up for our monthly email list!