Yearly Archives: 2017

  • Snake Parenting, May 22, 2017
  • Would You Fit In More At An Imagine Dragons Concert Or A Sbarro’s Restroom?, May 22, 2017
  • In Light of McDonald’s New Uniforms, May 19, 2017
  • 7 Conversation Starters To Help You Cum, May 17, 2017
  • H.R. Pufnstuf, May 16, 2017
  • Summer Vacations On A Budge(t), May 16, 2017
  • SAVE OUR NATIONAL PARKS SO I CAN LEGALLY FUCK IN THE WOODS, May 15, 2017
  • Hated Automated, May 12, 2017
  • German Words the English Language Should Adopt, May 11, 2017
  • Agony Niece: An Advice Column, May 9, 2017
  • Garfield Yucks It Up In Analysis, May 8, 2017
  • Emotions Worksheet: Special Edition, May 8, 2017
  • Ten Things Sold at a Republican Garage Sale, May 5, 2017
  • Holidays I’ll Be Celebrating This Year, May 4, 2017
  • Highs and Lows of a Workday, May 3, 2017
  • Monthly Affirmations Because I’m Fucking Busy, May 3, 2017
  • Just A Little Inspiration…, May 2, 2017
  • Two Foxes: A Fable, May 1, 2017
  • Say No To King Tutankhamun! #NotMyPharaoh, April 27, 2017
  • Trump’s First 100 Days: An Alternative Look Back, April 26, 2017
  • Size Comparison Chart: Bills Who Shouldn’t Be Around Women, April 24, 2017
  • If I See Ricky’s Ex, I Will Kill That Bitch, April 21, 2017
  • When The Time Travelers Arrive, April 20, 2017
  • Tristan’s Mom Helen is Running for PTA President, April 19, 2017
  • Boss Baby: United Airlines CEO, April 18, 2017
  • Frozen, April 17, 2017
  • Jokes for Children (Not Really) Part 2, April 17, 2017
  • What Your Eye Color Says About You, April 13, 2017
  • Seriously, No Joke, This Is A Message In A Bottle, April 11, 2017
  • A Graphic Representation of My Jimmy Johns Takeover, April 10, 2017
  • 5 Stories Even Shorter and Better Than Hemingway’s, April 10, 2017
  • The Times Sherlock Holmes Ruined Watson’s Relationships, April 7, 2017
  • As a 4-Year-Old, I’m Pretty Damn Sick of Hearing You Use the Phrase “As a Mother…”, April 6, 2017
  • 10 Tips for Eating BBQ Ribs at Work, April 5, 2017
  • I Fell In Love With An Apple Because I Want To Be Cool On The Internet, April 3, 2017
  • Real or Fake English City?, April 3, 2017
  • My 5 Most Memorable Celebrity Encounters, March 30, 2017
  • Chill Dude, It’s Just the End of the World, March 29, 2017
  • Crafty Handouts For Your Next Airplane Trip, March 28, 2017
  • March Madness Bracket, March 27, 2017
  • Thank You For Not Pointing Out That I’m On Fire, March 27, 2017
  • I Almost Forgot To Thank Members Of The Academy, March 24, 2017
  • Additional Hashtags To Delegitimize The Trump Administration, March 23, 2017
  • I’m Paying For This Luncheon And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It, March 22, 2017
  • Excuse Me?, March 21, 2017
  • Topical, March 20, 2017
  • Whopper, Jr. Has A Breakthrough In Therapy, March 20, 2017
  • Constructive Feedback for My Kidnappers, March 17, 2017
  • The Quiz Section on NPR.org, March 16, 2017
  • Excerpts From The Woke Joke Book, March 15, 2017
  • Pro Con Chart: Puns, March 13, 2017
  • Hey! You There. Would You Like to Buy a Roller Coaster from Me, a Guy on the Street?, March 13, 2017
  • A SOOTHSAYER TOLD ME THE EXACT DAY I WILL DIE, March 8, 2017
  • Wine Tasting with Emily Faye, March 7, 2017
  • This Is A Turtle… But Also, It Is Everything… So Also, It Is A Trampoline…, March 6, 2017
  • This Month’s Caption Contest Winners, March 6, 2017
  • I Am A Highway Who Has Not Yet Been Adopted, March 3, 2017
  • I Saw Her Across The Bar And Knew She Was The One I Would Spend The Rest Of My Night Getting Rejected By, March 2, 2017
  • We’re Pregnant!, March 1, 2017
  • I Saw The Sine: A Graph, February 27, 2017
  • 5 Restroom Attendants Who Kept Their Cool While Handing Paper Towels To B-List Celebrities, February 27, 2017
  • Dear Annie: My Wife Is Sleeping With Sasquatch, February 24, 2017
  • Quick Question For A Fitness Professional, February 23, 2017
  • Dad Seeks Friend to Appreciate His References to Song Lyrics and Indulge His Persistent Reflections on the Meaninglessness of Human Existence, February 22, 2017
  • Agony Niece: An Advice Column, February 21, 2017
  • The Enforcer, February 20, 2017
  • My Brother’s Ghost, February 20, 2017
  • You Think You’ve Got It Hard? Meet the 3-Legged-Dog I Sent To Buy Me Beer, February 17, 2017
  • 5 Hot Hairstyles That Will Change Your Life in 2017, February 16, 2017
  • Actually, Snakes Are More Afraid of What They Could Do to You Than You Are of Them, February 15, 2017
  • I Have Been Engaged For 24 Hours: Here Are The Answers To All Your Questions, February 14, 2017
  • Word Graph Of A Couple In Love, February 13, 2017
  • Cyrano de Dating App, February 13, 2017
  • How Come My Imaginary Friend Blimpychimp Won’t Fuck Me?, February 10, 2017
  • The People In The Town, February 9, 2017
  • America’s Top Spin Instructors (Who Are Definitely NOT Trapped In Spandex), February 7, 2017
  • Get to Know a Parrot, February 6, 2017
  • The Ocean Front Property I Purchased In Montana Appears To Be A Hoax, February 6, 2017
  • A Scene from TombMates, a Sitcom About a Mummy & a Vampire Sharing an Apartment, February 1, 2017
  • Big Pharma Rebrands for the Medical Marijuana Era, January 30, 2017
  • Census Information: Fashion Evolution, January 30, 2017
  • 7 Things You’ll Only Understand If I Shout Them At You From My Mom’s Minivan, January 26, 2017
  • The 8 Stages of Grief My Mom Experiences on Facebook, January 25, 2017
  • Lines From My Rejected Screenplay, A Gritty Drama About The American Cheese Manufacturing Industry, January 24, 2017
  • A Line Graph of My Confidence In Trump As A President, January 23, 2017
  • January Jones is My Favorite Celebrity, January 23, 2017
  • Jobs Our Resurrected Lord Couldn’t Keep, January 20, 2017
  • Why Stop at Mansplaining?, January 19, 2017
  • When I Grow Up I Want to Be a Content Producer Like My Dad, January 18, 2017
  • Toast, January 17, 2017
  • Brian Brown, January 16, 2017
  • Corn Baby, January 16, 2017
  • Sincerely Yours, You Sorry Son of a Bitch, January 13, 2017
  • 5 Reasons Why I, the Golden Retriever of a White, Upper Class Family, Voted for Donald Trump, January 12, 2017
  • Don’t Make Me Pull This Car Over! Because If I Do Or Go Under 50mph It Will Explode!, January 11, 2017
  • A New Yoda?, January 10, 2017
  • A Bar Graph of Hot Takes on Airplanes, January 9, 2017
  • 5-hour Energy® Chicken, January 9, 2017
  • A List of My Job References (And I Certainly Know What Job References Are), January 6, 2017
  • I Replaced All My Family Photos With Photos of Jamie Lee Curtis and Now We’re All Hooked On Activia!, January 5, 2017
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