Yearly Archives: 2017

  • The All-Night Zombie Channel, July 27, 2017
  • Where Were You When William Howard Taft Got Stuck In A Bathtub?, July 26, 2017
  • Introducing: The McDonald’s 2017 Green Initiative, July 24, 2017
  • Welcome to Popular Ice Cream Place, July 24, 2017
  • CONGRESSIONAL RECORD — TESTIMONY BY DORIS FLARN, THE SADDEST MAN IN THE WORLD, July 21, 2017
  • 5 Yoga Poses Responsible For Trump’s Decisions According to New Comey Memo, July 20, 2017
  • Decoding Youth Culture, July 18, 2017
  • Bar Graph: Chili Intake Per Season, July 17, 2017
  • Vegan Food Diary, July 17, 2017
  • Attempts at Explaining to my Grandfather that I Follow a Cat on Instagram, July 14, 2017
  • A Dystopian Pre-K Graduation, July 13, 2017
  • Reasons Why I’ll Never Be A Billionaire, July 12, 2017
  • A Press Release From Count Chocula After He Was Sued For Copyright Infringement By Count Dracula, July 10, 2017
  • Resting Faces, July 10, 2017
  • Things You Will Eventually Say If You Live With Unemployed Puppeteers, July 7, 2017
  • How To Pretend To Be Busy At Work: A Masterclass, July 6, 2017
  • Bow Tie Target Markets: A Pictograph, July 3, 2017
  • The New York Times Has Hired Me As Their Official Hot Dog Correspondent and Honestly, I Don’t Understand Why Either?, July 3, 2017
  • Yelp Review For Dining At My Desk, June 30, 2017
  • 10 Times I Had A Saxophone Solo But Just Yelled “Sexophone” Over & Over During Them, June 29, 2017
  • Things To Do With The Crusts You Cut Off Your Son’s Jelly Sandwiches, June 27, 2017
  • Some Dogs, June 26, 2017
  • Five Places You Must Visit After You Die, June 26, 2017
  • Thank You For Auditioning. Unfortunately, You Do Not Fit Our Director’s Fevered Vision, June 23, 2017
  • If You Wanna Be My Lover, You Gotta Get With My Kraken, June 22, 2017
  • Airbud Franchise Revival, June 21, 2017
  • I Have Eliminated All Of My Enemies. Now What?!, June 20, 2017
  • 7 Letters In “The Sopranos” Title Card That Were Also Objects Before They Settled On Just The R Being A Gun, June 19, 2017
  • Under Construction, June 19, 2017
  • Sandwich Related-SuperPACs, June 16, 2017
  • Writing Tips for “Just Touching This Up a Bit”, June 15, 2017
  • You Think Your Job Sucks, Well, Try Being Me, The Grim Reaper, June 12, 2017
  • Healthy Eating Tips, June 9, 2017
  • The New SquareSpace Theme Descriptions, June 8, 2017
  • Hi! I married Jared Kushner in Prison! AMA!, June 7, 2017
  • Notes From Parents Regarding Their Children’s Shortcomings, June 6, 2017
  • MAD MEN: CUT SCENES, June 5, 2017
  • I Am Delighted to Inform You That Your Company Has Been Chosen to Offer Me Employment!, June 1, 2017
  • Top 29 Most Probable First Words Of Your Newborn Baby, May 31, 2017
  • Scatterplot: Most Appropriate Ways to Eat a Hard-Boiled Egg In Public, May 30, 2017
  • 8 Ways To Still Have Fun When You’re Under 21, May 30, 2017
  • Snake Parenting, May 22, 2017
  • Would You Fit In More At An Imagine Dragons Concert Or A Sbarro’s Restroom?, May 22, 2017
  • In Light of McDonald’s New Uniforms, May 19, 2017
  • 7 Conversation Starters To Help You Cum, May 17, 2017
  • H.R. Pufnstuf, May 16, 2017
  • Summer Vacations On A Budge(t), May 16, 2017
  • SAVE OUR NATIONAL PARKS SO I CAN LEGALLY FUCK IN THE WOODS, May 15, 2017
  • Hated Automated, May 12, 2017
  • German Words the English Language Should Adopt, May 11, 2017
  • Agony Niece: An Advice Column, May 9, 2017
  • Garfield Yucks It Up In Analysis, May 8, 2017
  • Emotions Worksheet: Special Edition, May 8, 2017
  • Ten Things Sold at a Republican Garage Sale, May 5, 2017
  • Holidays I’ll Be Celebrating This Year, May 4, 2017
  • Highs and Lows of a Workday, May 3, 2017
  • Monthly Affirmations Because I’m Fucking Busy, May 3, 2017
  • Just A Little Inspiration…, May 2, 2017
  • Two Foxes: A Fable, May 1, 2017
  • Say No To King Tutankhamun! #NotMyPharaoh, April 27, 2017
  • Trump’s First 100 Days: An Alternative Look Back, April 26, 2017
  • Size Comparison Chart: Bills Who Shouldn’t Be Around Women, April 24, 2017
  • If I See Ricky’s Ex, I Will Kill That Bitch, April 21, 2017
  • When The Time Travelers Arrive, April 20, 2017
  • Tristan’s Mom Helen is Running for PTA President, April 19, 2017
  • Boss Baby: United Airlines CEO, April 18, 2017
  • Frozen, April 17, 2017
  • Jokes for Children (Not Really) Part 2, April 17, 2017
  • What Your Eye Color Says About You, April 13, 2017
  • Seriously, No Joke, This Is A Message In A Bottle, April 11, 2017
  • A Graphic Representation of My Jimmy Johns Takeover, April 10, 2017
  • 5 Stories Even Shorter and Better Than Hemingway’s, April 10, 2017
  • The Times Sherlock Holmes Ruined Watson’s Relationships, April 7, 2017
  • As a 4-Year-Old, I’m Pretty Damn Sick of Hearing You Use the Phrase “As a Mother…”, April 6, 2017
  • 10 Tips for Eating BBQ Ribs at Work, April 5, 2017
  • I Fell In Love With An Apple Because I Want To Be Cool On The Internet, April 3, 2017
  • Real or Fake English City?, April 3, 2017
  • My 5 Most Memorable Celebrity Encounters, March 30, 2017
  • Chill Dude, It’s Just the End of the World, March 29, 2017
  • Crafty Handouts For Your Next Airplane Trip, March 28, 2017
  • March Madness Bracket, March 27, 2017
  • Thank You For Not Pointing Out That I’m On Fire, March 27, 2017
  • I Almost Forgot To Thank Members Of The Academy, March 24, 2017
  • Additional Hashtags To Delegitimize The Trump Administration, March 23, 2017
  • I’m Paying For This Luncheon And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It, March 22, 2017
  • Excuse Me?, March 21, 2017
  • Topical, March 20, 2017
  • Whopper, Jr. Has A Breakthrough In Therapy, March 20, 2017
  • Constructive Feedback for My Kidnappers, March 17, 2017
  • The Quiz Section on NPR.org, March 16, 2017
  • Excerpts From The Woke Joke Book, March 15, 2017
  • Pro Con Chart: Puns, March 13, 2017
  • Hey! You There. Would You Like to Buy a Roller Coaster from Me, a Guy on the Street?, March 13, 2017
  • A SOOTHSAYER TOLD ME THE EXACT DAY I WILL DIE, March 8, 2017
  • Wine Tasting with Emily Faye, March 7, 2017
  • This Is A Turtle… But Also, It Is Everything… So Also, It Is A Trampoline…, March 6, 2017
  • This Month’s Caption Contest Winners, March 6, 2017
  • I Am A Highway Who Has Not Yet Been Adopted, March 3, 2017
  • I Saw Her Across The Bar And Knew She Was The One I Would Spend The Rest Of My Night Getting Rejected By, March 2, 2017
  • We’re Pregnant!, March 1, 2017
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