As of 2018, The Higgs Weldon has been up and running for 5 years. To celebrate, we are re-publishing some of our favorite pieces from over the years for the entire month of January. This article was originally published on February 27, 2017.

B-list celebrities: They’re just like us. They eat at steakhouses, use the bathroom, and, of course, have paper towels handed to them by restroom attendants. Still, it’s easy to find yourself overwhelmed when a recognizable person from film or television appears. That’s why we have to congratulate these restroom attendants who kept their cool while handing paper towels to B-list celebrities.

1. Steve Riggins

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What appeared to be a normal evening in the Ft. Lauderdale-area Morton’s Steakhouse restroom became anything but when B-list comedian Pauly Shore walked out of the stall and into Steve Riggins’ life. Despite having seen Bio-Dome in theaters, Steve knew better than to ask Pauly Shore if he was, in fact, “also in Encino Man.” Being the true professional he is, Steve handed Pauly Shore a paper towel and said nothing after he didn’t leave a tip.

2. Javier Diaz

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While unboxing some Drakkar Noir in the Atlanta location Morton’s Steakhouse, Javier Diaz spotted a semi-familiar face: B-list sibling Stephen Baldwin. Javier was fairly certain Stephen Baldwin appeared in Crash, but forewent confirming the actor’s filmography, so as to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Good call, because that’s Matt Dillon. After Stephen Baldwin washed his hands, Javier gracefully offered him a paper towel and wished him a good afternoon. Stephen Baldwin definitely, I assume, appreciated Javier’s calm and collected demeanor!

3. Paulie Swenson

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After B-list actress Gal Gadot wandered into the men’s restroom at the Phoenix-area Morton’s Steakhouse, attendant Paulie Swenson realized he knew her from somewhere. Having recently watched Batman vs. Superman, Paulie remembered the actress as Wonder Woman and almost asked for an autographed paper towel. Not wanting to bother, though, Paulie informed Gal Gadot that she had entered the men’s room and pointed her to the women’s room. On Gal Gadot’s way out, Paulie handed her a paper towel, out of habit. Now, that’s smooth!

4. Jillian Saunders

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When B-list actress Gal Gadot finally found the women’s restroom at the Phoenix-area Morton’s Steakhouse, women’s room attendant Jillian Saunders greeted her. As Gal Gadot regaled Jillian with the story of how she accidentally ended up in the men’s room, Jillian recognized she had seen the actress in the Fast and the Furious film franchise. While Jillian was tempted to ask for a selfie, she figured Gal Gadot had been through enough that day after the wrong bathroom situation. Jillian was almost too distracted to do her job, but remembered to hand off paper towels before Gal Gadot left. A great save by a terrific attendant!

5. George Williams

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During his last shift before retirement, George Williams got quite the surprise when B-list celebrities Pauly Shore, Stephen Baldwin and Gal Gadot walked into his bathroom at the downtown Cleveland-area Morton’s Steakhouse. George, who thought the trio looked familiar but couldn’t place them, assumed they were just regulars of his well stocked and perfectly tidy facilities. Morton’s Steakhouse top brass sent Shore, Baldwin and Gadot as thanks for George’s 30 years of hard work as a restroom attendant. When they tried to explain this to George, he simply smiled and nodded at them. Then, after trying to explain their own unique cultural relevance for about 20 minutes, Pauly Shore, Stephen Baldwin and Gal Gadot decided to leave the bathroom and let George go on with his final day of work. Each celebrity washed their hands and headed to the door. George blocked their exit, though, and watched carefully as each dried their hands using pieces of paper towel he supplied. I think we can all agree that bathroom attendant sure kept cool in the presence of such respected B-list celebrities!



The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes! 


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