1) 2.705 million Chicagoans, from Chicago, prayed for a World Series win in 2016. Finally worked after 108 continuous years of prayer.
2) Underdog, a Beagle from Maine, thought super hard about his owner coming back from that black hole he disappears into every morning and he did! It works every single day.
3) Neo, from the Matrix, thought real hard and successfully bent a spoon.
4) Matilda, from Matilda, thought real hard about flinging classroom equipment at Miss Trunchbull. Super successful.
5) Brandon, from Kentucky, had his prayers for rain on Saturday answered after sending in a generous donation to Joel Osteen. Probably had nothing to do with a mass of air quickly cooling to its saturation point, condensing into a cloud, and then gravity pulling rain drops down to the ground.
Okay, yes the most successful examples are related to fictional characters in movies but I say we keep trying, as a society, to send those totally useful thoughts and prayers that definitely help victims of tragic experiences.
The Higgs Weldon is an online humor magazine with funny articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was founded in the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!