Zach Pugh is a comedian and writer living in Los Angeles. Since graduating from Oxford in just 3 school terms, he has written 47 books ranging from crime thrillers to psychology textbooks. He has developed a serum to allow him to stay young forever, which means he will outlive all of his (currently) 16 children. This inevitability keeps him awake every night and prevents him from ever truly being happy… He’s currently working on book #48, a collection of poems entitled 187 On A Muthafuckin Cop.

We’ve all been there. It’s a Friday night. You and your family are at Dave & Busters. But then you go to the bathroom at the end of the night, and when you come out you find out that your parents have left you at the Dave & Busters! And until they came back to get you three days later, you had quite the experience! Here are 6 things you’ll only understand if your parents accidentally left you at a Dave & Busters for three days.

The Smell of Chicken Wings

Who can forget that smell? Whether it was 3 AM and you were completely alone or 3 PM and you were trying to join in on some stranger’s birthday party, that sweet smell was always there. Comforting you. Reminding you of the life you left behind.

Mastering The Basketball Game

Swish. Swish. Swish. That’s the only sound anyone heard if they challenged you to a shootout on the basketball hoops. Oh, you’ve played basketball for 20 years? I’ve been standing at this spot for 36 hours and haven’t missed a shot in 12. You think you’re a pro, I haven’t slept. This is all I have.

The Music

Smash Mouth. It was always Smash Mouth. You don’t even own the CD anymore because it plays in your head, nonstop, all day every day. You’re an all star.

Paint Can Carl

We all remember Paint Can Carl! The janitor who worked really strange hours. He was the only one who knew you were there. And he let you sniff the paint in the maintenance closet if you helped him pop the pimples on his back. Talk about unforgettable!


Love that game! So much fun!

Mr. Dave and Mr. Buster

You remember them but you never talk about them. You saw them, but you don’t remember what they look like. You heard them, but you don’t remember what they said. They were there though. And so were you. And you’re tied together forever. Your parents came back and got you, but you’ll never really leave. They are a part of you, and you a part of them. 



The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes! 

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