Zach Pugh is a comedian and writer living in Los Angeles. Since graduating from Oxford in just 3 school terms, he has written 47 books ranging from crime thrillers to psychology textbooks. He has developed a serum to allow him to stay young forever, which means he will outlive all of his (currently) 16 children. This inevitability keeps him awake every night and prevents him from ever truly being happy… He’s currently working on book #48, a collection of poems entitled 187 On A Muthafuckin Cop.

We were promised Hope. We were promised Change. But after 7 years, it’s clear that “President” “Obama” has done very little to help this country. Just look at all these times when he chose personal pleasure over national prosperity:


Mr. President, while you’re busy stuffing your face with sweet and delicious dairy products, the unemployment rate is skyrocketing! Shame on you!


Oh it must be nice to have the time to go dancing with your beautiful wife while global warming is outside decimating our planet. Get your priorities straight!

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You don’t think we’d all like to take some time and hold a baby now and then? Some of us have jobs where we actually work! You want to hold babies? Open a daycare!

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Enjoying a nice day on the fairway huh? While you’re yelling “Fore!” Vladamir Putin is preparing to take over the world. Hope it was worth it!

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On your computer? Really?! How about instead of thinking about Buzzfeed, you think a little more about BENGHAZI!

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 Signing autographs on the job?! Pretty unprofessional…

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The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!

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