A Review of God’s New Late Night Talk Show in The Heaven Times
By
June 14, 2016

Review: Up Late with God Brings God’s Sensibility to Late Night

Wanna make God laugh? No matter, because He wants to make you laugh.

God introduced himself to late night viewers on Monday with the premiere of His new late night talk show Up Late with God. Why does God want a late night talk show, to lend His deep, booming voice to a decidedly stale format in an overcrowded field? As it turns out, it is for just that reason. As God noted after the cheers died down and He opened His monologue, He wanted to “shake things up” and “lend [His] unique voice as creator of the universe and all things.”

And, as creator of the universe and all things, God immediately called upon some of His more famous “creations “to lend a hand in a particularly funny cold open video involving a play on The Big Bang theory (the science one, not the blah sitcom) that has surely already gone viral (perhaps, even pandemic) and featured, amongst others, Plato, John Lennon, Nelson Mandela, Confucius, Charlie Chaplin and Martin Van Buren.

The monologue was relatively standard fare, with God telling decent jokes about the election and The Kardashians, Bieber, et al. He threw in a few pokes at Himself about how He needs to start dying His white hair in order to appeal to the youth demo. After that, God retreated to His desk, exchanged some banter with His premiere week bandleader Charlie Parker (the band is to feature different bandleaders each week, for now) and launched into a downright entertaining comedy piece called “God’s Other Commandments,” wherein God listed “new” commandments like “Thou Shalt Not Incorrectly Use the Word ‘Literally'” and “Thou Shalt Not Hold Destination Weddings.”

God’s first guest, a flaccid Alexander the Great, told a mildly amusing story related to the Sacking of Thebes and then predictably plugged his memoir. Refreshingly, the next guest, Abraham Lincoln, had nothing to plug, but rather just wanted to chat. Lincoln came armed with a very funny anecdote about a drunk telegram he once received from Ulysses S. Grant in 1864, to which the punch line of “New telegraph, who dis?” got the biggest laugh of the night. God showed that He has both fastballs and changeups by both playing along with Lincoln and goading him with wry asides.

Then, in a crass commercial tie-in and transparent ploy for viral views, God played “Diet Coke Pong” with Lincoln, a somewhat funny take on the longstanding drinking game and Lincoln’s mostly healthy, teetotaler lifestyle. God was a bit overeager to please here.

The show ended with Ludwig van Beethoven and Kurt Cobain performing a duet of original music. They’ve been working together lately and the collaboration was stunning.

God’s name recognition alone will surely draw eyeballs. While He mostly stayed within the confines of this timeworn format, He was a nimble, adept performer showing promise while delivering a solid effort worthy of further viewing. God’s omniscience was a huge help, too, as it seemed He already knew what His guests were going to say before they said it, enabling Him to easily deliver precision zingers and retorts.

God hosts through Wednesday this week, with guest host Johnny Carson on Thursday and guest host Jimmy Fallon on Friday (Fallon must be set to die soon). The show airs Monday through Friday at 11:35 p.m. on HBC. Tuesday night God welcomes Harriet Tubman, the Grim Reaper, stupid dinosaur tricks and the original cast of the debut 1947 production of A Streetcar Named Desire.

So, again, why does God want a late night talk show? Well, regardless of the tired medium, you can’t really fault Him for trying to send His many followers to bed happy and with a smile of their faces. This is Heaven, after all.

 

 
 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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