Are you a sucker for spin? So are we! That’s why we took spin classes around the country and found America’s top five instructors. Also, there’s no way these instructors have become trapped for eternity in their spandex workout outfits. Anyways, let’s meet these biking babes!
Karen – Brooklyn, NY
Karen discovered her love of the bike when she first moved to New York and stumbled right into a class. She was immediately hooked! Karen’s classes are known for her hot playlists (Check out her Taylor Swift vs. Katy Perry ride!) and even hotter moves. The choreography will get your blood pumping and your butt moving! Also, Karen is definitely NOT unable to remove herself from her tight and sweaty spandex clothing, and therefore, she is NOT living in her own filth and self-loathing. Try telling her a joke next time you take her class. Karen loves to laugh!
Jonathan – Malibu, California
Jonathan is breaking stereotypes one ride at a time by proving tough guys can spin, too! His biceps are big, but his heart is bigger. Jonathan puts every inch of his mind and body, which is NOT melded to his spandex pants and tank top so his skin is like some sort of weird lycra/epidermis combo, into his class. Jonathan’s favorite post-ride snack is a Kind Bar! Yummy!
Taylor – Dallas, TX
Taylor is a Southern belle who knows how to rock! Don’t let her perfect blonde hair fool you. Taylor is going to put your muscles through the ringer! Taylor has a country twang, but you know what she doesn’t have? A body trapped in sweaty spandex and chronic yeast infections. A fun fact about Taylor is that she’s addicted to Netflix! Relatable!
Amanda – Boston, MA
Amanda has basically been spinning since before she could walk. She’s the daughter of famed spin instructor Tamara Robertson (OMG!), and if there’s one thing her mom taught her about spinning, its that the rhythm is key. And also her mom taught her one more thing which is to tell people she is NOT unable to remove herself from her clothing which has NOT somehow melded to her body via sweat, because that’s NOT true, but would be hella embarrassing if it were. Good thing it’s NOT! Seriously. That would be so crazy. Can you imagine? We can’t! We can’t even imagine it because it’s so NOT true.
Edith – Cincinnati, OH
Edith may be the oldest spin instructor on her list, but her heart is young! She knows all the hot new moves before you do. We promise! Don’t come too close or you might be intimidated by her fierce energy, and also her disgusting stench. That second part is because she’s old, not because she’s been wearing the same pair of pants for 54 years. Edith’s favorite quote is, “I guess I’ll have to take these Lululemon pants to the grave with me!” We don’t know why she says that. She’s old and crazy!
This article has been sponsored by The Spin Instructor Coalition of America, who want you to know that this article is NOT a cry for help because they’re NOT shrouded in embarrassment, shame and idiocy.
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