Bluff Your Way Through the Catalan Crisis Using Settlers of Catan
November 16, 2017

Tired of being accused of living in a hipster bubble? Weary of having to argue that American Studies was, too, a “real” major? Confused about what stand to take on Catalan secession? Need some help so you don’t appear completely clueless?

Good news! At this week’s “Brews and Boards” game night, you can show everyone how internationally aware you are with the new Settlers of Catalonia game! This Catalan expansion pack will bring the conflict to life even if you don’t understand the issues. Best of all, it’s almost identical to the original board game, allowing you to feign interest in the separatist movement while still dominating the competition with your usual Catan-winning strategies.

Goal of the game: all players are trying to gain control of the upper right portion of the board. Just like Catalonia is in the top right portion of Spain!

Taking a turn: play begins by rolling the dice, also known as “Calling a Referendum.” Players then try to accumulate resource cards to build roads, create villages, and establish a stable yet independent regional government.

Resource cards: The traditional resources of ore, grain, lumber, wool, and brick have been replaced with more culturally-appropriate assets such as paella, bottles of Rioja, Gaudi paintings, tapas restaurants, and sexy beaches.

Trading Resources: Players may strike trade agreements with neighboring Andorra, provided they do not confuse the prosperous nation-state with Samantha’s mother on Bewitched. Also, anyone who says Castilian instead of Catalan must skip a turn.

One player (Spain) holds the Emergency Powers card and can play it at any time. The game ends when a player reaches 10 points or when extradition warrants are issued.

And if Settlers of Catalonia isn’t enough, look for The Game of Life Catalan Edition featuring exciting new career options for players, such as Deposed President and Jailed Regional Minister!





The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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