Cardinal Rules for a Successful Threesome with Your Partner and an Original Cast Member of Growing Pains
By
October 15, 2015

1) Establish the rules. You’re going to be involved in a sexual experience with both your committed partner, and an original cast member of the hit 1980s sitcom Growing Pains. Make sure everyone is comfortable with the same boundaries (touching, kissing, foreplay, intercourse, singing or making reference to the theme song “As Long As We Got Each Other.”)

2) Make sure everyone is always involved, and be giving. Try not to engage in a position that neglects one person from the sexual experience at hand, and never make anyone feel silly about how famous little Leonardo DiCaprio turned out to be.

3) Remember to pay attention to the person you are not having direct intercourse with. If you are penetrating your partner, be sure to maintain kissing, touching and eye contact with the cast member from Growing Pains, and ask them if it was weird when Kirk Cameron got so religious.

4) Communication is key. Not only can dirty talk enhance a sexual experience greatly, but communication throughout the event can make sure everyone feels aroused, satisfied, and aware that Alan Thicke’s son is Robin Thicke, the “Blurred Lines” guy. Wonder, aloud, about Robin as a child, and the relationship he had with his father’s on-screen family.

5) Be safe. A threesome is a fun, heightened sexual experience that many committed couples are interested in trying, but take the proper precautions like condoms, birth control and only screaming, “GIVE IT TO ME, SEAVER,” when you’re all ready for more.

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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