Clamming Innocence
By
December 5, 2017

PRESS RELEASE FOR CRITICS EYES ONLY

Vance Stoneway is a hot-shot, big city Chicago lawyer. He’s a steadily rising star in the world of Chicago criminal law, and has gained himself a reputation as a can’t-lose miracle worker in the courtroom. But can he be both an ambitious lawyer and a family man? Can he afford to keep his moral integrity as he gets closer to the top? Will the fact that he says ‘clam’ instead of ‘claim’ be his downfall, or his superpower? This is: Clamming Innocence on TNT. We’ve included some sample dialogue below to convey the tone of the show:

“Look, I’m a hot-shot criminal defense lawyer, I can’t in good conscience take on a case in small clams court. I promise, the expense wouldn’t be worth it for you.”

“Pal, I staked my clam in this case on day one. It’s mine, this is the case that’s going to make me famous.”

‘You clam you’re telling me everything, but I don’t believe that. I’m on your side, I need to know the truth. Did you murder her, or can I honestly clam your innocence in court?”

“You clam that my client was at the victim’s apartment at 9:22 pm on the night of the murder. Do you have any evidence?”

“Let’s all go to Clam Jumper to celebrate winning the case! It’s on me!”

“Linda , I never clammed to be the perfect husband. It was a mistake, I’m sorry. I won’t clam that it’s an excuse, but I was so high on winning that big case and eating all those fried clams, and that Clam Jumper waitress… she was just there. It meant nothing. Linda… Linda please don’t make me leave. What will you tell the kids?”

 

 

 
 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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