The Higgs Weldon

COLUMNS

  • Where Are They Now: Wilson The Volleyball From Castaway, November 14, 2017
  • Things That Should Learn English Or Leave This Country, November 6, 2017
  • The Munsters (2018) – A Reboot of The Munsters, October 24, 2017
  • Subject: Why The Urgency?, October 23, 2017
  • Terrible Awful Horror Movies Ideas, October 16, 2017
  • Vampire Dating Advice Column, October 9, 2017
  • Fish Toast, October 2, 2017
  • DIY: Scary & Sweet Halloween Treats!, September 25, 2017
  • How Transcendental Meditation Changed The Way I Look At The World And Made My Penis Bigger, September 18, 2017
  • The Man With All The Answers, September 12, 2017
  • Non-Spoiler Spoiler Alerts, September 11, 2017
  • Flex Life, September 5, 2017
  • I Spent 30 Minutes in the Shower Thinking of Different Ways I Could Help the Environment, August 22, 2017
  • Mark Rylance’s Hat Erotica, August 21, 2017
  • The Meaning of Life A Podcast Report By: Max Turner Grade 6, August 8, 2017
  • Jugglers, Unite Against Our Common Enemy!, August 7, 2017
  • Opinion: Why I’m a Vegan, July 31, 2017
  • Introducing: The McDonald’s 2017 Green Initiative, July 24, 2017
  • Decoding Youth Culture, July 18, 2017
  • Vegan Food Diary, July 17, 2017
  • A Press Release From Count Chocula After He Was Sued For Copyright Infringement By Count Dracula, July 10, 2017
  • The New York Times Has Hired Me As Their Official Hot Dog Correspondent and Honestly, I Don’t Understand Why Either?, July 3, 2017
  • Airbud Franchise Revival, June 21, 2017
  • 7 Letters In “The Sopranos” Title Card That Were Also Objects Before They Settled On Just The R Being A Gun, June 19, 2017
  • You Think Your Job Sucks, Well, Try Being Me, The Grim Reaper, June 12, 2017
  • MAD MEN: CUT SCENES, June 5, 2017
  • Would You Fit In More At An Imagine Dragons Concert Or A Sbarro’s Restroom?, May 22, 2017
  • 7 Conversation Starters To Help You Cum, May 17, 2017
  • Summer Vacations On A Budge(t), May 16, 2017
  • SAVE OUR NATIONAL PARKS SO I CAN LEGALLY FUCK IN THE WOODS, May 15, 2017
  • Agony Niece: An Advice Column, May 9, 2017
  • Garfield Yucks It Up In Analysis, May 8, 2017
  • Monthly Affirmations Because I’m Fucking Busy, May 3, 2017
  • Just A Little Inspiration…, May 2, 2017
  • Two Foxes: A Fable, May 1, 2017
  • Boss Baby: United Airlines CEO, April 18, 2017
  • Jokes for Children (Not Really) Part 2, April 17, 2017
  • Seriously, No Joke, This Is A Message In A Bottle, April 11, 2017
  • I Fell In Love With An Apple Because I Want To Be Cool On The Internet, April 3, 2017
  • Excuse Me?, March 21, 2017
  • Whopper, Jr. Has A Breakthrough In Therapy, March 20, 2017
  • Wine Tasting with Emily Faye, March 7, 2017
  • This Is A Turtle… But Also, It Is Everything… So Also, It Is A Trampoline…, March 6, 2017
  • 5 Restroom Attendants Who Kept Their Cool While Handing Paper Towels To B-List Celebrities, February 27, 2017
  • Agony Niece: An Advice Column, February 21, 2017
  • My Brother’s Ghost, February 20, 2017
  • Cyrano de Dating App, February 13, 2017
  • The Ocean Front Property I Purchased In Montana Appears To Be A Hoax, February 6, 2017
  • Big Pharma Rebrands for the Medical Marijuana Era, January 30, 2017
  • January Jones is My Favorite Celebrity, January 23, 2017
  • Toast, January 17, 2017
  • Brian Brown, January 16, 2017
  • A New Yoda?, January 10, 2017
  • 5-hour Energy® Chicken, January 9, 2017
  • That’s It, This Year I’m Normalizing Finding and Eating Colorful Birds My Damn Self, January 3, 2017
  • In 2017 I’m Going To Post A Lot More, January 2, 2017
  • Dear Santa, How Are You?, December 21, 2016
  • Ben Affleck: My Lord And Savior, December 20, 2016
  • This Woman Is Holding A Bake Sale To Help Avatar Reclaim Its Spot As The Highest Grossing Domestic Film Of All-Time, December 19, 2016
  • Other Movie Warnings, December 12, 2016
  • Holiday Gift Guide For The Man Who Either Has Everything, or is Emotionally Unavailable, It’s Hard to Say. Honestly Stephen, What Do You Even Like?, December 5, 2016
  • On the Judgement of Turkeys, A Review of New Restaurant TRKYC, November 29, 2016
  • Neutral Conversation Topics to Avoid Talking Politics With Your Conservative Relatives at Thanksgiving Dinner, November 23, 2016
  • Monster Pie, November 22, 2016
  • Thanksgiving Twenty Sixteen, November 21, 2016
  • A Once In A Lifetime Opportunity With Me: A Famous Celebrity, November 14, 2016
  • Tree, My Friend, October 31, 2016
  • Things I Can Still Post Earnestly About on Facebook Once the Election Is Over, October 25, 2016
  • Spooky Creepy Fun Pranks, October 24, 2016
  • Reasons This Waitress Thinks I’m Eating Alone at Buffalo Wild Wings at 4:30 p.m. on a Thursday, October 20, 2016
  • It’s Fall Y’all, October 19, 2016
  • Tooth Fairy, Your Business Model Is A Complete Failure, October 17, 2016
  • Lies Told On A Recent First Date, October 12, 2016
  • Don’t Blow That Horn!, October 11, 2016
  • 6 Things You’ll Only Understand If Your Parents Accidentally Left You at a Dave & Busters for Three Days, October 10, 2016
  • My Professor, September 21, 2016
  • Humans of Los Angeles, September 20, 2016
  • This Autobot Was Not As Billed, September 12, 2016
  • Letter From Dad, August 29, 2016
  • You Will Not Believe What Happens Next, August 23, 2016
  • I’m Voting For A Third Party Candidate Because The System Is Rigged And I’m Mad At My Mom, August 22, 2016
  • I Ate Poison for a Month: This Is What It Did to My Body, August 17, 2016
  • Avocado + Toast = Avocado Toast: A Memoir Part 2?, August 15, 2016
  • A Comedy “Piece” By A Writer Who Just Switched Places With His Dad After They Were Simultaneously Struck By Lightning, August 8, 2016
  • Books for Good Conservative Children, August 1, 2016
  • Hey! Do You Need A Distraction?, July 27, 2016
  • Posthumous Tips In Manhood For My Adopted Boys, July 26, 2016
  • Rainbow, July 19, 2016
  • Message in a Bottle, July 18, 2016
  • My Best Invention Yet (Until the Next One), July 13, 2016
  • Voice-Over from a Burger King Whopper Ad Made by Ken Burns, July 12, 2016
  • Where Are They Now: Alanis Morissette’s Other Hand Edition, July 11, 2016
  • I Could Be Wrong Here, But Is This Stakeout Really Necessary?, June 28, 2016
  • 4 Hilarious Football Player Fails, June 27, 2016
  • (no subject), June 20, 2016
  • A Review of God’s New Late Night Talk Show in The Heaven Times, June 14, 2016
  • Some Things I Feel Entitled to as a Millennial, June 6, 2016
  • The Only Packing List You’ll Ever Need, May 30, 2016
  • Inner Monologue: 24 Hours Until The First Sex Party I Was Ever Invited To, May 25, 2016
  • True Life: My Parents Ran My Facebook Account for the First 5 Years of My Life, and Kept It a Secret from Me, May 23, 2016
  • Million Dollar Ideas with Grandpa, May 18, 2016
  • An Incomplete List of Dicey Situations I Could Get Out of by Executing a Perfect Backflip, May 17, 2016
  • An Excerpt from ‘Avocado Plus Toast = Avocado Toast: A Memoir’ by Simone Tass, May 16, 2016
  • A Literal Idiot’s Guide to Classic Literature, May 11, 2016
  • 3 Classic Grifts, May 10, 2016
  • It Happens: You Got Insulted at the Water Cooler, May 9, 2016
  • Proposal of Marriage with a Mutual Aquaintance, April 26, 2016
  • Twas the Day Fore 4/20, April 20, 2016
  • Jokes For Children (Not Really) Part 1, April 19, 2016
  • Winning Chopped Dishes, April 18, 2016
  • Friendship Encounter Satisfaction Survey, April 13, 2016
  • Amazon Dash Button Rejects, April 12, 2016
  • Ad Campaigns For Adult Dodgeball, April 11, 2016
  • What Happened to Millennials? Participation Awards., April 5, 2016
  • 6 Must-See Acts at Coachella 2016, April 4, 2016
  • Who Put This Boulder in the Middle of the God Damn Office?, March 29, 2016
  • Truly Bipartisan Issues, March 28, 2016
  • 7 Weed Strains That Are Almost As Dank As Cracked Pepper & Olive Oil Triscuits [SPONSORED CONTENT], March 22, 2016
  • President Nicknames Part 2, March 21, 2016
  • College Thoughts, March 15, 2016
  • What’s Coming to Netflix this April!, March 14, 2016
  • Easy Two-Step Guide to Writing a Monkey Movie, March 10, 2016
  • Pride, Prejudice, and TFW the Thirst is So Real, March 8, 2016
  • Getting My Laundry From My Parents’ House, March 7, 2016
  • Hey Guys, I Don’t Want to Jump to Conclusions but, Are You Kidnapping Me Right Now?, March 3, 2016
  • It’s Game of Thrones Time, Steve, February 26, 2016
  • My Name Is Larry, I am a Cucumber, and I Will Be Your Uber Driver, February 25, 2016
  • Things I Do Regularly That 13-Year-Old Me Would Think Were Hella Tight but Make Current Me Kinda Sad, February 23, 2016
  • Wine Eleven: Party Wizard Party Size Moscato, February 22, 2016
  • Letters to Myself, February 17, 2016
  • President Nicknames Part 1, February 15, 2016
  • Lesser-Known Get Rich Quick Schemes for Powerball Losers to Consider, February 11, 2016
  • Three Brief Tales of Love, February 9, 2016
  • President Eisenhower’s Statement on Opposite Day, February 8, 2016
  • Hey, Sup Guys, February 3, 2016
  • This Year, I’m Getting on Fucking Shark Tank, February 2, 2016
  • Get to Know You Games, February 1, 2016
  • Stained, January 26, 2016
  • An Incomplete List Of Ted Cruz’s Ultimate Fantasies, January 25, 2016
  • The First Vegetarian Tries to Explain Sarcasm, January 22, 2016
  • The Local Weatherman Has Been Staying At My House For 2 Months and Won’t Leave, January 21, 2016
  • Side Gigs, January 20, 2016
  • Wine Eleven: Minstrel’s Pallor Farms Sauvignon Blanc, January 18, 2016
  • Memo Re: Office Thermostat, January 13, 2016
  • Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs: 2016 Edition, January 12, 2016
  • Yelp Reviews by Your Super Nice Friend Natalie, January 4, 2016
  • The Last Will and Testament of a ’90s Prop Comic, December 29, 2015
  • The Two Most AMAZING Ways to Use Keys, December 22, 2015
  • 2015 Year in Review, December 21, 2015
  • Holiday Gift Guide for the Budget Shopper, December 14, 2015
  • Text Translation Guide: Texts From Your Parents, December 9, 2015
  • Lesser-Known Peanuts TV Specials, December 4, 2015
  • Good Cop, Existential Crisis Cop, November 27, 2015
  • Find The Hand Turkey That’s Right For You, November 25, 2015
  • Reeves’ Recipes: Thanksgiving Mashed Potatoes Edition, November 24, 2015
  • Reasons I Would Be Called Upon to Help During an Emergency on a Plane, November 16, 2015
  • Top Behind-The-Scenes Moments From Donald Trump’s SNL Appearance, November 9, 2015
  • Thrift with Miles K | Featuring Greg Edwards, November 3, 2015
  • Get Protected with LYFE LOCK®, October 22, 2015
  • Near Death, as My Life Flashed Before Me, There Was a Hilarious Blooper Reel Crassly Sponsored by Mountain Dew Code Red, October 20, 2015
  • Best of: Los Angeles, October 19, 2015
  • 5 Classic Movies That Almost Didn’t Get Made Because of Ghosts, October 14, 2015
  • Thrift | Episode 1, October 13, 2015
  • Text Translation Guide: Breakup Texts, October 7, 2015
  • My Best Friends, October 6, 2015
  • The Biggest Issues in the Coming Election Year, September 28, 2015
  • Statistics from the Country of Chad If the Country Had the Same Characteristics as a Guy Name Chad, September 22, 2015
  • Subject: Yaaaassssss, September 21, 2015
  • Love, Sing, Dance, Etc., September 14, 2015
  • The Cast List, September 2, 2015
  • A Yelp Review of God, September 1, 2015
  • I Livetweeted an Entire Airplane Helping a Baby Get to Sleep, August 31, 2015
  • A Day in the Life of a Coffee Lover, August 24, 2015
  • The Definitive Guide to Parenting, August 19, 2015
  • A Taxonomy of Common Birds of Los Angeles, Objectively Ranked from Best to Worst According to My Personal Preferences, August 4, 2015
  • The World Genie Council’s Press Release On No Longer Accepting a Wish for More Wishes, August 3, 2015
  • Vegan Food Journal, July 27, 2015
  • Vincent van Gogh’s Diary Entry from the Day After He Cut off His Ear, July 17, 2015
  • The Dad Jones Index, July 13, 2015
  • Minions, Money and the American Dream, July 10, 2015
  • 7 Summer Cocktails To Help You Forget That Drifter You Murdered, July 8, 2015
  • Celebs Without Makeup, July 6, 2015
  • Honest Wedding Invitations, June 30, 2015
  • The Existential Crisis of Wile E. Coyote, June 26, 2015
  • Jobs Straight White Guys Think They Could Handle, June 19, 2015
  • Stenographer Minutes, June 17, 2015
  • Exclusive Interview With LeBron James, June 11, 2015
  • For Rent, June 10, 2015
  • Best Names For Boats II, June 8, 2015
  • The Roast of Notorious Drug Lord El Comandante, June 5, 2015
  • An Almost Barely Millenial’s Guide to Post-Millenials, June 3, 2015
  • 8 Times Obama Put Himself Ahead of This Country, May 29, 2015
  • Another Birthday Event Thing, May 27, 2015
  • Things That Would Make Me Shake My Head, Chuckle and Say “I Could Get Used To This”, May 20, 2015
  • Interview: Matthew Weiner Breaks Down The Brilliant “Mad Men” Finale, May 18, 2015
  • Global Warming 7-Day Weather Forecast, May 11, 2015
  • Robert Durst’s New TV Show, May 4, 2015
  • Which Bunny Rabbit is the Most Representative of Jesus Dying for your Sins?, May 1, 2015
  • Present-Day Greek Mythology, April 27, 2015
  • Excerpts From My 4th Grade Diary Continued, April 24, 2015
  • Top 5 Bird Poops on my Car, April 22, 2015
  • 7 Bands You Need To Know, April 20, 2015
  • Origins of Famous Sports Team Names, April 15, 2015
  • Text Translation Guide: The New Emoji Keyboard, April 10, 2015
  • Lullabies for Children Who Have Recurring Nightmares About Steve Buscemi, April 8, 2015
  • Tombstone Goofs II, April 6, 2015
  • The 5 Greatest April Fools Pranks of All Time, April 1, 2015
  • Notable Historical Quotes After Advertisers Get a Time Machine, March 30, 2015
  • Zach’s Monthly Tech Roundup, March 25, 2015
  • 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me, March 23, 2015
  • Laurie and Greg Will Never be Proud of You, March 20, 2015
  • Dental X-Ray of a Cold War Russian Super Spy, March 18, 2015
  • My March Sadness Bracket, March 16, 2015
  • Sexy Pikachu’s Livejournal, Part 2, March 12, 2015
  • Earth on Heaven, March 6, 2015
  • Sexy Pikachu’s Livejournal, Part 1, March 5, 2015
  • Ways to Skin a Cat, March 4, 2015
  • Your Favorite TV Shows As I Understand Them, March 2, 2015
  • 5 Signs the Cute Guy You Met at the Bar Is Actually Your Cousin, February 27, 2015
  • Making the Bat Most-vah of Your Bat Mitzvah, February 25, 2015
  • My Unused Academy Award Acceptance Speech, February 23, 2015
  • Important Staff Memo, February 18, 2015
  • Honored to Be Heather’s Maid… of Honor, February 16, 2015
  • 10 Jobs That Won’t Exist in 10 Years, February 13, 2015
  • Lesser Known Country Singers, February 9, 2015
  • Government in Action, February 4, 2015
  • The Five Most Badass Dogs As Ranked By BadassDogs.com, February 2, 2015
  • Message From Chase Bank, January 30, 2015
  • Book Dedications, January 28, 2015
  • 11 GIFs That Prove “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” is the Answer, January 26, 2015
  • Debt Collection Notice, January 23, 2015
  • IMDB Pages By Your Mom, January 19, 2015
  • A Confession, January 16, 2015
  • My Favorite Indie Movies of 2015 So Far, January 12, 2015
  • And God Rebrands Heaven…, January 9, 2015
  • Couchdog, January 8, 2015
  • January Newsletter for Paige Weldon Subscribers, January 7, 2015
  • Attainable New Year’s Resolutions, January 5, 2015
  • The Dad Jones Index, January 2, 2015
  • The Year in Review: 2014 B.C., December 31, 2014
  • The Top Dogs of 2014, December 29, 2014
  • Life, Love and Other Mysteries: The Holidays!, December 24, 2014
  • Lesser Known Christmas Albums, December 22, 2014
  • How to Write a Professional Resume, December 17, 2014
  • Get Rich Quick!, December 15, 2014
  • Alternative Naming Conventions for Heterosexual Married Women That Are Also Good Tips for Choosing a Secure Password, December 12, 2014
  • If I Had Starred in The Shining, Things Would Have Turned Out Different, December 10, 2014
  • LinkedIn Park, December 5, 2014
  • The Commencement Address of a Speaker Who Realizes He’s Lost His Wallet, December 3, 2014
  • X-Men Fan Fiction Starring Wolverine, King of Claws, December 1, 2014
  • Jury Duty, November 28, 2014
  • Life, Love and Other Mysteries: HOLLYWOOD, November 26, 2014
  • Reeves’ Recipes: Thanksgiving Turkey Edition, November 24, 2014
  • An Inspirational Quote from Adam Allgood, November 21, 2014
  • Best Names For Boats, November 17, 2014
  • Why We Ate Mark, November 12, 2014
  • Thanksgiving Haikus by Pistachio, November 10, 2014
  • Beauty & The Beast Go Clubbing, November 3, 2014
  • Text Translation Guide: Texts From Hell, October 31, 2014
  • The Art of Happy Birthday, October 27, 2014
  • Eerie Tales to Share in the Night: The Girl in the Green Ribbon, October 24, 2014
  • Life Was Simpler When I Was Having Sex With Ghosts, October 22, 2014
  • Life, Love and Other Mysteries: Sex, Business and ‘Zas, October 20, 2014
  • Disney Projects in Development, October 17, 2014
  • Tombstone Goofs, October 15, 2014
  • Behind the Meow-Sic: The Making of the Meow Mix Song, October 10, 2014
  • Monster Manual: Gym Edition, October 8, 2014
  • The Roast of That Guy I Went on Like 4 Dates with Last Year, October 6, 2014
  • RoboCop’s OkCupid Profile, October 3, 2014
  • Text Translation Guide: Drumk Txts, October 1, 2014
  • Being a Court Jester Is Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be, September 29, 2014
  • Most Highly Anticipated New Fall Shows, September 22, 2014
  • Life, Love and Other Mysteries: Magic, Culture and Cars!, September 19, 2014
  • Brought To You By…, September 17, 2014
  • Dear California Pizza Kitchen, September 15, 2014
  • A Letter from the President of the Wenatchee Yachting Club to a Delinquent Member, Who Is a Baby, September 12, 2014
  • Get to Know a Champion with David Lynch, September 11, 2014
  • How I Would’ve Done It: Star Trek Edition, September 10, 2014
  • Pistachio vs. City Councilman Paul Koretz, September 5, 2014
  • Tropical Jokes, August 29, 2014
  • Life, Love and Other Mysteries: The Past, August 25, 2014
  • Monthly Newsletter for Paige Weldon Subscribers, August 18, 2014
  • Notice from the Mayor’s Office, August 15, 2014
  • Catchphrases, August 13, 2014
  • A Proposal for Rosetta Stone, August 8, 2014
  • Get to Know a Champion with Ron Babcock, August 7, 2014
  • Worst Ways to Act Casually, July 30, 2014
  • Diseases Defined, July 28, 2014
  • Text Translation Guide: The Texts of Summer, July 25, 2014
  • Life, Love and Other Mysteries: The Children, July 23, 2014
  • Wormhole Waterslide, July 22, 2014
  • To All Employees, July 21, 2014
  • Lukewarm Sex Tips, July 18, 2014
  • Morning Stretches, July 16, 2014
  • Some Cool Tattoos to Consider, July 15, 2014
  • The Roast of Pistachio, July 7, 2014
  • Whoever Wrote These Bank Security Questions Sure Must Be a Huge Fan of the TNT Detective Show Rizzoli & Isles, July 2, 2014
  • Spooky Horror Movie Ideas, June 30, 2014
  • Passive Aggressive Notes I Wrote to My Noisy Neighbors as the Raccoon They Keep Yelling About, June 27, 2014
  • Life, Love and Other Mysteries: Books, Beards and Babes, June 25, 2014
  • To Scroll or Not to Scroll, June 23, 2014
  • Buildin’ Your Beach Bod with Mark Mitchell, June 18, 2014
  • Jim Pluett’s Yelp Reviews, June 16, 2014
  • Corrections to the Statements of Allegra Ringo at Age 14, June 13, 2014
  • Poems That Got Away From Me, June 11, 2014
  • Abandoned Restaurant, June 10, 2014
  • The Hunchback of Notre Dame Is Interviewed for the First Time but Won’t Discuss His Hunchback, June 4, 2014
  • The Incredible Hypno-Meeting™, June 2, 2014
  • Bad Advice, May 30, 2014
  • Worf’s Honor Roll, May 28, 2014
  • Excerpts From My 4th Grade Diary, May 26, 2014
  • Text Translation Guide: Pics, Dick and Otherwise, May 23, 2014
  • A Sony Executive Reviews The Amazing Spider-Man 2, May 21, 2014
  • Life, Love and Other Mysteries, May 19, 2014
  • Palm Trees Are Honestly Sick, May 12, 2014
  • Songs are Sad: Brand New Songs Edition, May 9, 2014
  • The Obituary of Raj Desai by Raj Desai, May 7, 2014
  • Every Dog Has Her Day, May 5, 2014
  • Fast Food of the Future, May 2, 2014
  • Scientific Fiction: The Right Season, April 29, 2014
  • Chase Bernstein’s Earthquake Survival Seminar, April 28, 2014
  • A Screenplay Written by a Man Who Does Not Understand Standard Screenplay Formatting, April 23, 2014
  • Lifehacks For Really, Really, Really, Really Depressed People, April 21, 2014
  • Buying a Slow Cooker: Threshold to Adulthood, April 16, 2014
  • Office Haikus, April 11, 2014
  • Google Calendar for My Art Heist, April 9, 2014
  • I Like It Anyway: Jen Kirkman and Millionaire Matchmaker, April 7, 2014
  • Songs Are Sad: Bridge Disaster Edition, April 3, 2014
  • Scientific Fiction: And Chryssipus Laughed, April 3, 2014
  • A Deal with the Devil (and an Idiot), April 2, 2014
  • Why Puppies Aren’t Cute, April 1, 2014
  • Text Translation Guide: Grammatical Efforts in Text, March 28, 2014
  • Dear Ashley, March 24, 2014
  • A Letter from the NSA, March 19, 2014
  • Safety Assessment: Earthquake Preparedness, March 18, 2014
  • Signs You’ve Given Up, March 17, 2014
  • I Like It Anyway: Jane Borden and Crappy Teen Movies, March 14, 2014
  • Items on the Scavenger Hunt I Planned for the Police Officers Chasing Me, March 12, 2014
  • True Detective Commercials, March 10, 2014
  • Brand New Life Hacks to Simplify for Spring!, March 7, 2014
  • Songs Are Sad: Oscars Edition, March 6, 2014
  • Dinner with Socrates, March 5, 2014
  • Little Known Facts About Alaska: Some Famous Alaskan Pioneers!, March 3, 2014
  • Hobby Corner: Fun Projects Using Only the Pipe Cleaners You Already Have Laying Around Your House, February 28, 2014
  • 9 Fun Things to Do with a Million Dollars, February 27, 2014
  • Frozen Review, February 24, 2014
  • 13 Hot Tips for Becoming a Millionaire, February 20, 2014
  • Power Moves: The Ultimate Guide to Job Interview Success, February 19, 2014
  • My Nude Body, February 19, 2014
  • Advertising Taglines for Human Existence, February 17, 2014
  • The Manliest Valentine’s Day Gifts, February 14, 2014
  • ATTN: Please Stop Stealing Everything, February 13, 2014
  • Page Choices From My Self-Published Pro-Abstinence Choose Your Own Adventure Novel, February 12, 2014
  • Text Guide: Mystify Men with Your Chill Bro Attitude this Valentine’s Season, February 10, 2014
  • Songs Are Sad: Love Songs, February 6, 2014
  • Public Service: Avoid Palm Cruise Lines, February 5, 2014
  • Little Known Facts About Alaska: Alaska in the Movies!, February 3, 2014
  • Reeves’ Recipes: Alaskan BBQ Salmon Edition, January 28, 2014
  • Fun with Mad Libs! Jezebel Article Edition, January 27, 2014
  • Text Translation Guide: Emoji-tional Intelligence, January 24, 2014
  • Scientific Fiction: In His Footsteps, January 22, 2014
  • Roof People, Part 1, January 15, 2014
  • Letters to Dogs I’ve Loved and Men I’ve Dated, January 10, 2014
  • New Year’s Resolutions I’ve Already Given Up On, January 8, 2014
  • My Potential Epitaphs, January 6, 2014
  • The Best Celebrity Scandals of 2014, January 3, 2014
  • Songs Are Sad: Beginnings, January 2, 2014
  • Text Translation Guide: The Answers to All Your Question Mark Questions, December 27, 2013
  • Scientific Fiction: He Who Wears the Pants, December 23, 2013
  • #BossFails, December 18, 2013
  • An Ode to My Retainers, December 16, 2013
  • Holiday Gifts for the Alt-Bro in Your Life, December 13, 2013
  • My Dream Roles, December 11, 2013
  • The Inner Monologue of a Doctor Riding a Train, December 9, 2013
  • Communiqué from the War on Christmas, December 6, 2013
  • I Like It Anyway: Dave Ross and Anthems, November 27, 2013
  • Sigma Chai Latte Pledge Rules, November 25, 2013
  • Text Translation Guide: Expressing Laughter, Out Loud and Otherwise, November 22, 2013
  • Pop-Culture Clash-Em-Ups!: Stoudemire vs. Stottlemeyer, November 20, 2013
  • Concocted Conversations: Data Imagination, November 18, 2013
  • My Perfect Fall Day, November 13, 2013
  • She’s Braver Than We’ll Ever Be, November 12, 2013
  • An Email Exchange with Pistachio, November 8, 2013
  • Little Known Facts About Alaska: November Thank-Tacular, November 4, 2013
  • Thoughts on Rye: The Orphan Thanksgiving, November 1, 2013
  • Once Upon A Time Rough Drafts, October 28, 2013
  • Text Translation Guide: Terrifying Texts, October 25, 2013
  • I Like It Anyway: Dave Stone and Bigfoot, October 23, 2013
  • Little Known Facts About Alaska: SPOOKTOBER SCARETACULAR, October 21, 2013
  • How I Would’ve Done It, October 18, 2013
  • I Livetweeted An Angry Improv Coach, October 16, 2013
  • Rejected ModCloth Product Descriptions, October 11, 2013
  • Lectures Delivered by a History Professor Desperate to Connect With His Students, October 9, 2013
  • Hipst-Urban Legends, October 4, 2013
  • 5 Reasons Why The Breaking Bad Finale Just Didn’t Work, September 30, 2013
  • Text Translation Guide: Variants of the Word “Okay”, September 27, 2013
  • Top 5 Songs for Winding Down the Summer, September 23, 2013
  • I Know It Sucks But I Like It Anyway, September 20, 2013
  • Concocted Conversations: Deathfest, September 16, 2013
  • The Ultimate Feminist Bachelorette Party Checklist, September 13, 2013
  • Grumblebee’s Grumblings for September 12th, 2013, September 12, 2013
  • Suggestions I Have Shouted at Improv Shows Before Being Asked to Leave, September 11, 2013
  • Thoughts on Rye: The Burrito Doctrine, September 10, 2013
  • Little Known Facts About Alaska: ARTS AND LEISURE EDITION, September 2, 2013
  • Text Translation Guide: Exclamation Points, August 30, 2013
  • 5 Reasons Ben Affleck Will Be the Best Batman Yet, August 26, 2013
  • Vegan Food Journal, August 26, 2013
  • White House NSA Scandal Distraction Plan, August 21, 2013
  • Unacceptable, Part 1, August 15, 2013
  • Michael Keaton Trivia, August 14, 2013
  • If Horror Movies Were Titled Based on Their Posters, August 9, 2013
  • Hardboiled in Hollywood, August 7, 2013
  • Little Known Facts About Alaska: DISPATCHES FROM THE FROZEN NORTH!, August 5, 2013
  • Thoughts on Rye: A Guide to Transgender Pronouns, August 2, 2013
  • NASA Federal Safety Inspection: The Lunch/Launch Situation, July 24, 2013
  • The Diary of a Teenage Lifeguard, July 22, 2013
  • Ways My Mother Has Ended Recent Emails, July 17, 2013
  • Concocted Conversations, July 15, 2013
  • Hardboiled in Hollywood, July 3, 2013
  • Little Known Facts About Alaska: GOLD RUSH EDITION, July 1, 2013
  • WWE Federal Safety Inspection, June 26, 2013
  • Valedictorian Speech, June 24, 2013
  • Concocted Conversations, June 17, 2013
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