Ron Babcock is an LA-based writer and comic. Sometimes he likes to make up conversations about weird pictures he finds on the Internet. For example…

Dad: Kids, put on your hockey gear. It’s time to take family photos.

Kids: Nooooo.

Dad: Don’t even start. I’ve already hung a sheet up in the garage and your mom put on her hockey pants.

Kids: But we don’t want tooooo.

Dad: Your mother is pregnant. Do you know how hard it is for her to put on hockey pants? It’s like trying to squeeze toothpaste back in the tube.

Kids: Is mom going to wear a shirt?

Dad: You already know the answer.

Kids: Whyyyy?

Dad: Because she’s pregnant and we’re taking pregnancy announcement photos and that’s just what people do when they’re pregnant. Remember your helmets.

Kids: Why do we have to wear our hockey stuff?

Dad: Why do we have to wear hockey stuff?! Are you guys adopted?

Kids: No.

Dad: Then who the hell are you? Because my sons would never ask me that. It’s like you don’t even want to make varsity.

Kids: We want to make varsity!

Dad: Great. Then after the photo shoot you’ll wrestle your mom on the lawn. If you can’t pin a pregnant woman, you’ll never be able to make varsity.

Kids: Is she going to wear a shirt?

Dad: You already know the answer.

Kids: Nooooooo.



The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!