Q: When was Equifax founded?
Q: Where is your headquarters?
A: Atlanta Georgia.
Q: What’s your stock symbol?
A: We had a huge data breach a few months ago and when we say huge that’s an understatement. Whoa boy, they got us good. They saw everything.
Q: What the fuck???
Q: You lost all our data –
A: Your personal data
Q: Our personal data and all you have to say is sorry?
A: We’re not very good at our jobs.
Q: What exactly do you do?
A: We make it hard for you to get loans and credit cards.
Q: What happens now?
A: Thieves will get loans and credit cards in your name. It’s funny if you think about it.
Q: Was I part of this data breach?
A: That’s for us to know and these very shady people from the Balkans to find out.
Q: I’ll ask again. Was I part of the data breach?
A: Do you have a social security number?
A: Then yes.
Q: Can’t you fix this?
A: I have an idea. Pay us money.
Q: Pay you !!!!!????
A: Well it’s our business model and if everyone paid us we’d be doing great.
Q: My lawyer say–
A: Did we mention we have a free service? Go to our website. Problem solved.
Q: What the hell is this?
A: Are you a robot?
A: Prove it.
Q: What am I supposed to do? Give me a hint.
A: Its called a Rubiks cube. Solve it thirty seconds.
Q: I don’t know how to do that!
A: Sorry robot, gotta run. And enjoy that motorboat you just bought in Ecuador. Told you, you should have paid us.
The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!