I’m between apartments.

I’m a stay-at-home daughter.

This is temporary.

I’m taking care of my mom’s plants.

I’m economizing for space.

I won’t be here long.

I’m saving up for my own apartment.

I live off the land (this is especially relevant if you, like me, make a supplemental income selling your mom’s stuff on ebay. Even more relevant if this supplemental income is your whole income).

I’m crashing there temporarily.

I’m like a live-in maid minus the cleaning duties.

My parents didn’t actually want the gym they converted my room into, anyway. They were really excited to convert it back to a bedroom.

I live in the same neighborhood I grew up in. On the same block, actually. Weirdly also in the same bed.

My parents live with me.

I don’t live with my parents.

It’s really common in other parts of the world, ok? Sorry for being worldly.

I’m not really dating right now anyway.

I’ve been looking at apartments on Craigslist everyday.

I’m house-sitting for my parents who currently live there also.

My parents aren’t really there anyway, because they both have day jobs, which I don’t.

I’ll be there another month, TOPS.

Student loans, amiright? (I don’t have them because my parents paid for college, but I hear other people do).

I’m just about to leave.

The rent in NYC.

The rent in San Francisco.

The rent in Des Moines.

The rent in Ebbing, Missouri. (Seriously, that movie drove real estate prices way up).

THIS is temporary.

I’m having a multi-year nervous breakdown.

I’m looking for a new apartment.

The Zoloft is about to kick in.

I’m about to get a job.

This IS temporary.

I’m BRIEFLY crashing.


I can leave anytime I want, ok?

I’m moving out very soon.

This. Is. Temporary.



The Higgs Weldon is an online humor magazine with funny articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was founded in the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!