Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? 

A: Ignorant septaphobia. 

Q: Why was the snake criticized for being gender normative? 

A: It called everyone “cissss…”

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To escape execution at the farm and spread the message of veganism.

Q: What do you call a dog that self-identifies as a cat?

A: A cat.

Q: What’s it called when a bird swoops in and steals another animal’s prey?

A: Vultural appropriation.

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?

A: Which particular pirate? Because not all pirates share the same opinions and even if they did, I would not attempt to speak for them, as I am not a pirate and they are more then capable of speaking for themselves.

Q: What did the woke man say to the woman?

A: Nothing. He LISTENED.

Q: What do you call an unwoke person who keeps on using the wrong words online?

A: Problem-addict.

Q: What did the mean Internet troll call the woke mail carrier who was offended at being referred to as a “mailman?”

A: A social justice courier.

Q: Why are black cats considered bad luck?

A:  Because of a negative stereotype reinforced by the racist media.

Q: Why did the feminist astronaut fly away from earth?

A: Not because she was seeking a safe SPACE, but because she was simply doing her job.

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!