Highlights magazine for children just added a topical jokes section to its popular feature where kids submit jokes. Here are the topical jokes submitted by children from the magazine’s most recent issue:

“Barack Obama is proposing that stimulus money be used to pay for a high-speed rail system. He said that the trains will be good for the environment because they’ll run on boogers and farts.” — Jay Shah, age 7, Arlington, TX

“The New York State Legislature just allocated thirty million dollars to clean up pollution in the Hudson River. Apparently, the river is so polluted that it smells like my sister’s butt.” — Brian Richter, age 8, Toms River, NJ

“The White House announced that President Obama is planning another trip to Europe soon. He’s gonna see London, then he’ll see France, and after that he’ll see your underpants.” — Becky P., age 7, Walnut Creek, CA

“There’s a lot going on in the world today. Poop!!!!” — Eddy Gray, age 6, Falls Church, VA

“Politics is funny. Hello, my name is…[sound of me burping].” — Petey, age 5, Henderson, NV


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