Created by: A Desperate Need to Please Everyone

Written and Directed by: Unreasonable Expectations

Executive Producers: Mom’s Depression, Dad’s Alcoholism, and A Broken Home

Consulting Producer: My Sexual Confusion

Developed by: Years of Awkward Social Interactions

In Association with: All the People I’m 100% Positive Hate Me

A Tiny Baby as Me
Anyone Else as Who I Would Rather Be

Also featuring…
Love as Something I Don’t Deserve
Success as Something I Won’t Achieve
Wealth as Something I Don’t Have

And introducing…
Fear and Anxiety as My Two Closest Friends

Special Thanks to: That Teacher in High School Whose Approval I Desperately Craved, but Never Got


The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes! 


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