As of 2018, The Higgs Weldon has been up and running for 5 years. To celebrate, we are re-publishing some of our favorite pieces from over the years for the entire month of January. This article was originally published on January 27, 2014.

Hey kids! Use this fun Mad Lib to make a Jezebel.com article of your very own. Fill in the blanks with the parts of speech indicated, and see what silly business you can stir up on the Internet today!

Well, _____ (exasperated exclamation). I know I get a lot of flack from folks in the _____ (artistic endeavor) community for being an outspoken member of _____ (popular “subculture”), but this time I just have to say something. Recently, I was at _____ (fun event) when I saw something _____ (vicious adjective).

I was, frankly, shocked by the behavior I saw from _____ (unpopular/unknown person) at _____ (fun event), and felt an immediate obligation to bring it to the Jezebel readers’ attention. There I was, minding my own business, when out of nowhere I overheard someone say _____ (obviously bad thing to say). I had such a _____ (slapstick physical reaction) that I had no choice but to run outside, get some air, and assess my feelings. SPOILER ALERT: they were _____ (vicious adjective).

And it’s not just _____ (unpopular/unknown person). This is an _____ (ominous adjective) trend. Far too many times have I heard someone say _____ (obviously bad thing to say). For example, a _____ (surprisingly long period of time) ago, _____ (innocuous non-celebrity) said _____ (flippant comment about sensitive subject).

This was noted by _____ (journalist) at _____ (news source), in _____ (broken link to article). Gross.

I have personally had enough of _____ (unpopular/unknown corner of the Internet)’s endless _____ (adventurous word for deliberate plan) to make us feel _____ (tragic adjective) about our bodies. I mean, _____ (exasperated exclamation).

_____ (reference to tangentially related meme).

Accepting this kind of behavior is _____ (ominous adjective). If we let things like this go unnoticed, we are no better than _____ (universally hated figure from history). Um, no thank you. If this is the path we’re really going down, _____ (resigned statement about society). That is just not cool. Period. End of story. That’s it. K? _____ (declarative statement that it’s over).

That’s it for this edition of Fun with Mad Libs! Send us your filled-in articles and show off what you’ve learned about the power of the Internet to conquer social injustice!

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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