Einbildungsroman: a novel charting the development of a protagonist’s superiority complex

Madenfreude: the joy of sucking up fruit flies with a vacuum cleaner

Frisörleiden: the grief of an unflattering haircut

Zimmerpflanzensvernachlässigungschuld: the guilt of improper houseplant care

Ausladenfreude: the relief of cancelled social plans

Surrealpolitik: a system of politics based on a leader’s whims and tantrums rather than on ideas about what is morally right and wrong

Vergangenheitsgeist: the popularity of mismatched, midcentury decor

Gebäckmangelsorgen (DE, AT); Brotangst (CH): the anxiety of not finding good enough bread or baked goods while abroad

Wunderkindergarten: a preschool for gifted children with a highly competitive application process

Streitmotiv: a recurring fight or argument 

Tindergarten: a venue popular among millenials on dates

Kleinkindgrusel: The shock of seeing an ugly baby

Spinnensichtkontaktverlustpanik: the panic of losing sight of a spider or large insect 

Ladenfreude: the secret, shameful love of Costco 

Aufzugsunbehagen: The discomfort of a long elevator ride with one other person

Abnahmefehlschluss: The erroneous certainty that life would be better if one lost a specific amount of weight or acquired a specific amount of money

Eidechsensabotage: The halting of a multibillion-euro infrastructure project by nature protection laws for endemic lizards


The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!