From: Ghostbusters Industries
To: Mayor Lenny Clotch c/o The City of New York

Dear Mayor Clotch,

This is our third attempt to contact your office. We have yet to be paid for saving the city from Gozer the Gozerian and Vigo the Carpathian. Please contact our office immediately so we can settle this account. Much as we are unafraid of ghosts, we also are unafraid of pursuing harsh legal remedies.

Conversion of Statue of Liberty to Ghost-Fighting Machine – $80,000

Extermination of Massive Marshmallow Humanoid – $162,000

Stream-Crossing Bonus – $7,000

Containment Unit Maintenance – $5,000

Birthday party for Slimer – $2,040

General supplies – $500

Party hats – $40

Clean up – $1,500

Joke writing staff for various Venkman quips (e.g. “Yes it’s true. This man has no dick.”) – $32,000

Winston Zeddemore’s Salary – $200

Emotional Distress – $3,000

Snacks – $5,000

Miscellaneous Ghostbusting Expenses – $2,404

Please respond within the next 14 days or we will be forced to contact our lawyers and/or unleash Slimer upon you.

The Ghostbusters


*This piece was written by Asterios Kokkinos with help from Paige Weldon, Robin Higgins and Rob Schultz.


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