From: Ghostbusters Industries
To: Mayor Lenny Clotch c/o The City of New York
Re: FINAL NOTICE ON YOUR INVOICE
Dear Mayor Clotch,
This is our third attempt to contact your office. We have yet to be paid for saving the city from Gozer the Gozerian and Vigo the Carpathian. Please contact our office immediately so we can settle this account. Much as we are unafraid of ghosts, we also are unafraid of pursuing harsh legal remedies.
Conversion of Statue of Liberty to Ghost-Fighting Machine – $80,000
Extermination of Massive Marshmallow Humanoid – $162,000
Stream-Crossing Bonus – $7,000
Containment Unit Maintenance – $5,000
Birthday party for Slimer – $2,040
General supplies – $500
Party hats – $40
Clean up – $1,500
Joke writing staff for various Venkman quips (e.g. “Yes it’s true. This man has no dick.”) – $32,000
Winston Zeddemore’s Salary – $200
Emotional Distress – $3,000
Snacks – $5,000
Miscellaneous Ghostbusting Expenses – $2,404
Please respond within the next 14 days or we will be forced to contact our lawyers and/or unleash Slimer upon you.
*This piece was written by Asterios Kokkinos with help from Paige Weldon, Robin Higgins and Rob Schultz.