Tickets to the Chuck Palahniuk retrospective

A trilby (note: NOT a fedora)

The board game adaptation of Reservoir Dogs

Dual citizenship to San Diego and Westwood

A gift set of eyebrow rings in all his favorite eyebrow ring colors (chrome, silver, brushed silver, braised chrome, gray-silver, red)

A greeting card from his favorite Suicide Girl

An autographed racist tirade from 300 author Frank Miller

Another t-shirt with a vintage cartoon character on it

A collection of articles about why Macklemore is the only good rapper to come out of the past decade

A retweet from Bret Easton Ellis

A home brewing kit signed by the CEO of Stone Brewing Company

A Cards Against Humanity-themed shower curtain

A surprise visit from his old frat brother (They weren’t the jock frat. They were the uncool frat, but sort of in a cool way. Haha, man, when you meet Lil’ Jim, you’ll understand)

Permission to talk for as long as he wants about his “Irish heritage”

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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