“International Pick Up Your Dog Like a Suitcase Day”

“Recite Your Goals Brunch”

“Orthodontist Appreciation Hour”

“Crab Island Tragedy Memorial Day”

“Tongue Blister September”

“Eat Pasta Off a Quilt-o-ween”

“Actually Don’t Be Racist June”

“International Fake-Hate Shakespeare Night”

“Pop Every Balloon You See Sunday”

“Fork and Knife Hand Reversal Meal”

“See What it’s Like to be Gay Day” (If you’re gay, see what it’s like to be a lesbian, or vice versa)

“Bill Relief Day”


“Chew-All-the-Remaining-Ice Monday”

“Let’s Not Believe in Shadows Day”

“Football Doesn’t Exist September”

“Eat a Fork and Knife With a Pizza Party”



The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!