How to Beat iPhone Addiction by Smoking at the Office
By
May 25, 2017

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Has your compulsive need to tweet, text and YouTube during breaks times at the office turned you into a stressful mess?  Get the iPhone monkey off your back and transform your office breaks into periods of relaxation and renewal by following your Office Smoking Policies. 

Move Around

When it’s time for a break, march past the tray of Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the break room, skip down the back stairs and stride to the designated Smoking Area, more than 20 feet from the office building entrance.

Open Up

Once you’re outside, notice the changing colors of the maple trees lining the parking lot and listen to the honking of geese migrating below the autumn clouds to keep your head from hanging over your iPhone to check your Facebook feed.

Connect

As you stand in the Smoking Area, chat with Ed about the ’67 Camaro he’s restoring, which you didn’t know he was into, because you were always in the break room watching Kellyann Conway spin the latest Trump outrage.

Flirt

Listen to Carol tease you about the misspelled words in the PowerPoint presentation you gave this morning and realize that–although Carol smokes and is bit drinky–you never before noticed that she seems like a fun gal who knows how to have a good time.

Spread the Word

Having had some exercise, the experience of nature, some male bonding and the glimmer of romance, carry the message to other iPhone-oholics at your office: “Smoking. It’s not the worst way to spend your break anymore.” Just don’t inhale.

 
 
 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes! 


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