How to Figure Out Your Porn Star Name
By
September 18, 2013

1. Take the name of your first pet and the street you grew up on.

2. Approach Steve, the producer, and ask if you can call yourself Binky Donald.

3. Steve will say, “Nah, that’s dumb. You look like a Jason.”

4. Inform Steve that Jason is your real name.

5. Wait for Steve to run around the set telling everyone that he “just guessed this dude’s name like [he’s] fuckin’ ‘Notre Damus.’”

6. Remind Steve that you still need a porn star name.

7. Steve: “Okay, uh… Barry.”

8. You: “Just Barry?”

9. Steve: “Barry… Ballz. Barry Ballz. Hey, everybody! This guy’s name is Barry Ballz! Ha ha!”

10. Give Steve a hand job.

 

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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