As I waited for the introductory seminar to start, I couldn’t help but wonder: was I about to join a cult? The reading materials they’d handed me were full of Maharishi this and alpha brain waves that, and I was starting to get a little freaked out! It seemed to me that there was no way all this new age mumbo jumbo could be legit. Little did I know that by taking the first step towards practicing Transcendental Meditation, I was really taking the first step towards a better me. And a bigger penis.

Meditation is a word that’s pretty overused these days. Even just reading it, what image pops into your head? A bunch of guys with small penises sitting cross-legged with their eyes closed, right? But that’s just one type of meditation. Transcendental Meditation is the simple act of closing your eyes for twenty minutes twice a day, gently focusing on a mantra and letting your mind and penis go wherever they want.

The act of TM itself is exceedingly simple. After receiving my mantra and meditating with my instructor for the first time, I couldn’t believe I’d actually done it. “That’s it?” I asked. “I don’t need to breathe a specific way or focus on anything in particular? And I’ll end up with a bigger penis?” He said no, the practice required no more specific technique than what I’d been taught. He was also weirdly insistent that it wouldn’t give me a bigger penis, and wanted to know where I’d heard that. Of course I knew he was lying because I’d heard it from the most reliable source possible: my own mind.

As soon as I began my regular practice, I noticed an immediate change. I had more energy, my briefs fit tighter when I bunched the fabric in the back and pulled really hard, I slept better — and that was just week one! Now I not only enjoy those improvements to my everyday life, but I am a calmer person who accepts what the world throws at me with grace and poise. Except for the size of my penis, which I will never accept until it is huge.

I’m so grateful for the peace that TM has brought into my life. And even though I’m not allowed to go back to that training center anymore, I’ll never forget the wise words of my instructor when I left. He got really heated (a good sign that TM doesn’t turn you into a zombie!) and told me that I was there for the wrong reasons — that although TM has many measurable physical benefits, penis growth is absolutely not one of them and no, he would not look at it to check. But more importantly, he told me that I had the power to change. I’m pretty sure I know what he was talking about!

My penis.




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