Items on the Scavenger Hunt I Planned for the Police Officers Chasing Me
March 12, 2014

Hey local (and possibly federal) law enforcement! If you’re reading this, you’ve started searching my home for evidence of my current whereabouts. Sorry the place is such a mess–I hardly had time to clean up before going on the run to evade capture for my heinous crimes–LOL! Luckily for you, part of the twisted pleasure I derive from my actions includes a desire to be caught! Neat, huh?

If you can track down every item on this list, it should lead you right to me!

-A nosy neighbor whose many calls you ignored

-A high school yearbook with seemingly random pictures circled

-The standard issue Boy Scouts waterproof matchbox that started it all

-My worn out VHS copy of Reign of Fire (Get it?! LOL!)

-At least three manifestos

-One of my many masks

-The firefighter costume I bought as an ironic joke just for me

-A former middle school classmate of mine with third degree burns on their head/face (I left you plenty to choose from! LOL!)

-A business card from the tattoo artist who did the phoenix that covers my entire torso

-Gasoline (Obvi! LOL!)

-A crude diorama of My Final Act

-A map of all the orphanages in the tri-state area (Oooh what am I planning?! LOL!)

-A fire extinguisher (You’ll need it! LOL!)

-Something blue

Good luck! And if I catch you cheating, you’ll be sorry! Because you’ll be burned alive! LOL!


The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


facebookfooter twitterfooter tumblrfooter rssfooter

Sign up for our monthly email list!