I finally understand The Matrix.
-John A. Mathews, @UncomfyHug

Rather than devour the dachshund, hot dog and hamburger on the spot, the swimming pool decided to lay dormant for another 1000 years.
-Adam Allgood, @AllgoodAdam

To the outside world, Lucky had it all. A big pool. A hot dog. A hamburger. So why did he feel… nothing?
-Asterios Kokkinos@asterios

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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