DEFCON 5 Wrongly attended by military fans, was actually a meeting of Def Comedy Jam enthusiasts.

Con Man Con Budget was stolen.

The Long Con Too long.

The National Convention Of People Who Only Think Puppies Are OK

Lanyard Con Ran out of lanyards in first five minutes.

Only Season 20 Of The Simpsons Con

Convicts Con All potential attendees were in jail.

Condoleezza Con Sorry, Condoleezza!

Parents Whose Kids Are At Comic-Con Con It had a lot of couches, and Monk was always on. People weren’t into it because they’d rather just hang out at the Norm’s next door – it never had a chance.


*This piece was written by Asterios Kokkinos, Lewis Sequeira, Josh Eanes, Rye Silverman, Robin Higgins, and Paige Weldon.