-November heralds the beginning of the extremely cold season in Alaska, which is why each year during this month every single resident of Alaska relocates to Southern California until June.

-Alaskans do not recognize Thanksgiving as an official holiday, choosing to reject the celebration of gluttony enjoyed by the rest of the continental United States during this time. They do, however, celebrate a regional holiday known as “Thankstaking” in which they ritually attempt to annex Washington state and parts of northern Oregon.

-Black Friday sales are a November tradition, and although Alaskans as a rule shun displays of greed, they do enjoy good deals and early Christmas shopping. Unfortunately, the harsh weather conditions make camping out to get the lowest possible price on a Flat Screen a deadly affair, and many Alaskans have succumb to what we call the “MurderFrost” while waiting in line outside various big-box retailers. Much of the Alaskan grey wolf population survives the harsh winter solely on a diet consisting of frozen Black Friday deal-hunters.

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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