Little Known Facts About Alaska: SPOOKTOBER SCARETACULAR
By
October 21, 2013

-There are very few ghosts in Alaska because ectoplasm freezes at negative temperatures. Frozen ectoplasm is the base ingredient for SuperMeth, a drug that continues to ravage small communities across the state.

-Alaska hosts a large vampire community. This is due to the six months of darkness that envelopes the state during winter and fall. In fact, every single resident of Alaska is a vampire. If you have visited Alaska during spring or summer, you have noticed that the streets are entirely deserted and all Alaskans have taken refuge in the underground tunnel system and its sweet, velvety, life-giving dark. If you have visited Alaska during the winter or fall, your blood has been consumed and you are currently a fellow bloodsucker.

-Haunted houses are a fun fall ritual, and Alaskans take it a little farther than most. Starting on October 1st, excited thrill seekers can brave the “Iditarod of Terror” – a 1,049-mile fright-fest from Anchorage to Nome. Participants will require a sled dog team to traverse the spook-tastic event, but occasionally the riders’ dogs will abandon them after being spooked by one of the many chainsaw wielding maniacs or demented surgeons that haunt the trail at every turn. The event lasts between ten and fourteen days, and very few participants have ever survived.

 

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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