Little Known Facts About Alaska: SPORTS EDITION
By
May 6, 2013

Hey Alask-o-philes! This month we have a special SPORTS THEMED edition of Little Known Facts About Alaska!

-Physical education electives in Alaska include: Bear Wrestling, How to Catch Salmon Using Only Your Hands, Iceball, and Competitive Drinking.

-The Iditarod–an annual dogsled race from Anchorage to Nome–is certainly Alaska’s most well known sporting event. What many people don’t realize is that the Iditarod is actually a preliminary round to the significantly more brutal “Megaditarod” in which the top ten qualifying competitors and their team of dogs fight to the death in a gigantic frozen arena.

-Alaska has never had a professional sports team. This is partly because travel costs, weather conditions, and population density make it financially impossible for a franchise to operate there, but those are secondary concerns. The real reason professional sports will never be played in Alaska is an ancient curse placed upon the state by the manager of the Anchorage Ruby-Legs (a minor league baseball team from the early 1900s). No one knows his motives behind the curse, but ever since that day every single professional sports game played within the confines of our great state has been attacked by bears, and every single spectator eaten. Literally not a single person has ever survived a professional sporting event in Alaska.

 

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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