Look Out, Forbes. These Moderately Qualified 28 -Year-Olds are Gunning for Next Year’s 30 Under 30
November 20, 2017

Self-described femtrepreneur Darby Wenner is the founder and CEO of Hey Girl Rosé, a line of alcohol-infused juice packs for the adult child in all of us.
Though Peter Bergan-Shift still lives with his parents, his bitcoin-only music festival has garnered the attention of “many high-profile venture capitalists.” According to Spotify, the 28-year-old basement-dweller listens to a lot of Ja-Rule.
Unable to choose a quippy slogan for last year’s Women’s March, artist and activist Rachel Dole invented the world’s first disposable whiteboard. At $29.99, Wokeboards hit stores next summer, just in time for the 2018 protest circuit. 
Instagram mega-brand Danielle Cole took an impressive 343 Soul Cycle classes last year. “I can’t ride while menstruating,” says the the self-described femtrepreneur, who spent $12,000 on indoor cycling and still managed to pay off her student loans.
Lincoln and Breanne Damanteeur launched Broomstick Meets Butterbeer, the first dating service for fanatical Harry Potter fans. The highly-anticipated app is still in beta (they’re going through a rough divorce).
In the wake of Bernie Sanders’ demise, Katie Freeman channeled her rage into RoseRide, which bills itself as “The Uber for Socialists.” Shared rides are donation-based, and all drivers are rewarded with 5-rose emoji ratings regardless of performance (in solidarity!).
Former roommates Carl Burton and Walt Berkshire broke into boutique men’s fashion with their new line of Nantucket Blues. Mentored by UntuckIt founder Chris Riccobono, the cult prep-school brand reportedly reached $15 million in pre-Series A funding, due to their popularity with parents at Choate Rosemary Hall.
Chet Lowe calls himself “The Mark Zuckerberg of Ultimate.” We’re not entirely sure what he means, but we’re guessing it involves post-collegiate frisbee players.
Dan Feinstein partnered with his pseudo-famous second-cousin Josh “The Fat Jewish” Ostrovsky to promote VIP, age-inclusive bar and bat mitzvahs. “The concept is ageist,” says Feinstein, who reportedly rapped Bella Hadid’s D’var Torah at her 21st birthday last month.
Blended beverage enthusiasts Lance Kith and Dale Bolton built “the world’s fruit and juice concierge” by tagging affluent millennial females in stock photos of smoothies. You can follow their entrepreneurial journey @smoothiepass.
Triggered by politically-correct toy franchises, Judy Davis’ American Girls First dolls are sold out until Christmas 2020. Devoted parents are now chartering buses to get their hands on the MAGA-clad dolls, which are readily available in New York and California.
Sam Hu isn’t sure what he’s up to these days, but he hopes to meet the diversity quota.




The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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