Description: Black/grey beagle mix, just not sure what to do with his life, no job, no goals, sleeps most of the day, hates bathing, really smart but never really tries (afraid of failing?)

Age: Too old to be lying around licking his butt all day (figuratively/literally)

Date lost: Shortly after finding out he was adopted

Last seen: On the couch (still), eating Takis, watching Judge Mathis, vaping

Reward: We’ve tried, but treats don’t even get him motivated.

If found: Try to convince him to go back and finish obedience school–only 12 more credits.


a sense of worth, ambition, and his favorite tennis ball.

Contact: 462-7399 / karashomemadejewelry@gmail.com


The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!