Lullabies for Children Who Have Recurring Nightmares About Steve Buscemi
By
April 8, 2015

Go to sleep, little one
You know you’re my only one
Soon you’ll wake with the morning sun
Buscemi might look scary in those Sandler movies but he’s clearly having fun

The sleepy little bear has to go to bed
He can’t stay awake no matter how he tries
On his pillow he lays his fuzzy head
He wonders why some actors don’t have normal eyes 

Wherever your dreams may go
Please never watch Fargo
Watch any other movie
You will not be able to handle it

Once upon a time there was a grouse
Oh God he’s here
How did he get in the house?
You were right to fear
Be quiet as a mouse
I’ll see if the coast is clear
He’s in the closet petting your mother’s blouse
I’d describe his face as “severe”

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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