Despite popular belief, it is not his Slider but his full-frontal nudity that makes T-Rex an unstoppable pitcher.
-Zach Pugh, @ZachPugh
65 million years and I have to pitch in this tiny stadium!? I USED TO BE KING OF THE DINOSAURS.
-Ethan Stanislawski, @ethanstancomedy
Alvarado has beefed up a lot since last season. There’s some speculation that he might be on the juice.
-Dave Amadio, @aminorprophet