The following are REAL FACTS that I have submitted to the Trivia section of Michael Keaton’s IMDB page. They have all been rejected.

-Michael Keaton is double-jointed. He also has two rows of teeth, like a shark.

-Michael Keaton’s birth name is Michael Douglas, but he changed it after watching actor Michael Douglas rise to fame and murder his parents.

-Every Thursday morning, Michael Keaton goes to the Starbucks on Lincoln Boulevard and drinks half and half straight from the bottle.

-Because of how difficult it was to get out of the Bat Suit, Michael Keaton did not urinate once while filming Batman. When director Tim Burton pointed out that he could easily relieve himself during the filming of one of the many Bruce Wayne scenes, Keaton told him to “get fucked.”

-Michael Keaton can cry on command, as well as burp, vomit and convincingly pretend to be a different person.

-Michael Keaton spent the late ‘90s starring in a Guatemalan telenovela called Los Guapos Peligrosos. He was credited as Jose Luis Michael Keaton.

-Michael Keaton is a better hugger than my dad, probably.

-If you look closely at Michael Keaton’s scenes in The Other Guys, you can see him mouthing other actor’s lines, often while looking directly at the camera.

-Michael Keaton fathered twelve illegitimate children during his rookie season for the Indiana Pacers.



The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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