Morning Stretches
By
July 16, 2014

If you’re like me, mornings are rough! I’ve found that a simple daily stretching routine helps me feel 110%. Here are some fun, easy and fun stretches to help you take on the day!

Illustration by Robin Higgins

Illustration by Robin Higgins

From a standing position, bend over and try to touch your toes. Freeze as soon as you feel any resistance. Hold until you think, “Close enough.”

Loosen your legs by using them to make the bed while you’re still in it. Stretch out your toes trying to tuck in the corners of your sheets with your feet. Once the bed is made, lie still for three to seven hours.

Roll your neck from side to side while staring out your window at the happy people starting their days. Stretch your mind wondering what they have that you don’t.

Just roll around on the floor like a kitty cat! Tell no one.

Stretch your facial muscles by yawning while turning off your alarm. Stretch them harder when you wake up again forty-five minutes later and scream, “FUCK,” for two full minutes.

Wake up to the sounds of the couple in the next apartment having shower sex. Stretch out your shoulders and triceps by pounding on the shared wall. Use your neck muscles to raise your head and yell, “YES! JUST LIKE THAT!” Engage your core and thighs when you use your legs to brace your front door, keeping the boyfriend from knocking it down.

Flex your abdominals by sitting bolt upright at 4 a.m. Loosen the joints in your fingers by frantically Googling, “Colin Firth dead?”

Bend at the waist and see how close you can get your mouth to your own genitals. Tell no one.

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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