My Online Dating Profile
By
April 24, 2014

My self-summary

Um lol ok here goes… I’m not good at writing about myself lol! I’m a nice girl looking for a partner in crime ;)! To be honest I just got out of a relationship but feel so ready to love again, maybe even the same person I loved before. Love to laugh, travel, my family, work out, drive by Kyle’s house with the windows down and music blasting so he knows how much fun I’m having without him, try different restaurants, recipes etc. Just loving life!

What I’m doing with my life

You mean when I’m not making the most insane chocolate chip cookies in the world ;)? I’m a pharmacist. No I can’t get you drugs lol! Unless you have a prescription ;) I love my job and helping people have medications, but I am definitely work hard play hard! That means taking time to be a great friend (wine!), going out (hello, dancing!) and hanging out with my amazing dog Kyle II. Like the first Kyle, he’s a rescue and a mutt so he’s a bit of a project! But I’m open to dating a biracial guy again. YOLO!

I’m really good at

Dancing in the rain, not missing Kyle, lurking, baking, wine (ummm is that not a skill? Oops! ;)), making molotov cocktails (so easy! I’m obsessed), Netflix.

The first things people notice about me

Blue eyes <3

Big smile

Kyle face tat*

*Been getting a lot of questions about this one. The answer is: both. It is both a tattoo on my face and a tattoo of Kyle’s face.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

The Notebook, Anchorman 2 (sorry I’m not sorry!), the security footage I get every week from Kyle’s apartment building (only had to show the security guard one boob! Guys are so predictable lol! Kyle do you miss these tits, I know you do), Girls, The Bachelor (I’m a romantic!), The Bachelorette (I just think it’s funny)

Alicia Keys!!! THIS. HOUSE IS. ON FIRE! Lol sorry inside joke with my BFF Angie. A good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will research arson for days, literally, DAYS so you’ll never get caught ;)

Sushi, pasta, did I mention I love wine???? The way Kyle’s hair smells in the morning. Do you still use shampoo? Do you think of me when you touch yourself in the shower?

The six things I could never do without

Lip gloss

Kyle

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Where we went wrong. How you could change. Cupcakes…

On a typical Friday night I am

Out with like a hundred dudes, Kyle. I literally am. Or curled up on the couch with Kyle II and a nice bottle of vino having a good cry!

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I hit my ex-boyfriend.

I’m looking for

Guys who like girls

Ages 25-40

Near me

For long-term dating, short-term dating, new friends, activity partners, casual sex

You should message me if

You are my ex-boyfriend Kyle.

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


CARTOONS
Hangin' in There-34mini
Hangin' in There-47 mini

facebookfooter twitterfooter tumblrfooter rssfooter

Sign up for our monthly email list!