(no subject)
By
April 22, 2013

(no subject)

Chase Bernstein
to Claire Topp

In the end we die alone. We suffer together day in and day out, trading our anxieties and fears like baseball cards. But one day our breath will be our last and it won’t matter who said what, nor will the little white lies we told to protect each other from the pain we were invariably causing one another. It feels like this rope we were playing tug of war with, a tool with which to pull each other closer in order to learn about our idiosyncrasies so that we could nourish and love them has over time become a noose and I really can’t breathe. This is my “uncle,” I need you to let go of the rope. I need you to let go of me and all the doubt and disappointment I have caused you to feel. You need to set me free so that my life can be my own again, and I’m terrified that you know and understand this necessity and yet you won’t. I think you could do this forever; hold onto something so poisonous that it’s slowly killing us. Let time do that. Try to be happy. Take the memory of us and pour black ink all over it if you have to, let it fade into the nothing that has become our feelings for each other. The nothing that is our love. Burn it into ashes that we will one day sprinkle over our graves.

Re: (no subject)

Chase Bernstein
to Claire Topp

Awhoopsies! Please disregard that last email… meant to RSVP YES to your wedding shower. P.S. I am doing great!!!


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