Today’s Obituaries
By and
June 13, 2013

The following post is made up of submissions from our May 2013 monthly writing prompt, Obituaries for Fictional Characters.

Every Beloved Joss Whedon Character Ever By Lucia Fasano

1992 – 2013

Spent many years befriending their cohorts and winning the love of audiences everywhere. Had an endearing relatability that just felt so real. Against all odds, they were always there for friends and to help fight the forces of evil.

Despite many previous run-ins with wrongdoers, their passing came as a shock for many loved ones and admirers. They seemed to be safe as lovable secondary characters, but the fates simply decided to wait until the feature film and/or ending of the season to take them from us. “Deplorable,” commented avid LiveJournal blogger and novelist George R. R. Martin.

For now, the families of the deceased ask that we buy the DVDs and hope for a sequel or perhaps spinoff show where they will be reunited with their loved ones.

Cause of death, ultimately, Joss Whedon.

 

The Fittest Fett By Rye Silverman

31.5 BBY – 1983

The scattered survivors of the once-great Mandalorian Empire once again lower their awesome helmets in sadness today as they grieve the loss of Boba Fett, killed during a raid by the rebel scum victorious soldiers of the New Republic on the home of known gangster Jabba the Hutt, who also lost his life.

Though remarkably little is known of the life of Boba, his popularity dwarfed that of other citizens of the Galactic Empire New Republic. The son or clone or whatever of the significantly less popular bounty hunter Jango Fett succumbed to wounds from being swallowed alive by a Sarlacc pit.

We can only hope that he will find the recognition he deserves, even if it is not until some distant day A Long Time from Now in a Galaxy Far, Far Away.

 

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


CARTOONS

facebookfooter twitterfooter tumblrfooter rssfooter

Sign up for our monthly email list!