Two bunnies walk into a supermarket. The first bunny turns to the second bunny and asks, “What’s your favorite pasta shape?”
The second bunny had never been asked such a difficult question in his entire life. He took a long moment to think and think and think some more…
“Wow, I’m truly stumped.” Said the second bunny. “I’ve never really thought about that.”
“Really?” Said the first bunny, “Never?” The first bunny was absolutely stunned, “I consider it to be one of the most important questions facing supermarket consumers in this day and age.”
The two bunnies continued browsing the produce section. They took their time and examined every single item. They carefully smelled and licked and felt everything. As you may imagine, there noses were moving up and down in very small motions and browsing the produce section took the two bunnies a very long time — They being so small and the produce section of a major American supermarket being quite large.
“I suppose my favorite pasta shape is fusilli.” Said Bunny 2 to Bunny 1. “I like all of the little spirals, it makes the bowl seem like a whole arrangement of edible confetti.”
“That’s a pretty good choice.” Said Bunny 1. “My favorite is penne, I like the simplicity of a straight noodle but also the cylinder of it all gives the whole pasta an air of adventure and fun.”
“I like penne too… I guess…” Said Bunny 2. However, something had changed. Bunny 2’s demeanor became much more rigid and stand-offish. He struggled to shake dry a bunch of kale that was FAR too wet to place in his produce bag. “It’s funny, I’m kind of judging you for your favorite pasta even though merely seconds ago I had no opinion on the matter at all.”
“Wow, that’s kind of a dick thing to say.” The first bunny bristled.
“I’m just being honest.” Said the second bunny, who had by this point made his way to the carrots – A vegetable that most people assumed he liked much more than he actually did.
“Well, just because your being honest doesn’t make you not a dick.”
“Fine, whatever, I don’t care anymore. Eat all the penne you want. Just know that you’re wrong. We can finish up here and go our separate ways. I can’t believe we’re arguing over pasta.”
“Fine with me.” Bunny 1 agreed.
Just as the bunnies finally made their way out of the produce section they overheard a scruffy looking man in a Metallica t-shirt loudly talking on his cellphone.
“You want me to get what? Penis? Isn’t Penne plural for Penis? Are we eating penis pasta for dinner?” The man chuckled loudly and knowingly, he looked down at the two bunnies and winked. Like they were now in on his very funny joke.
The bunnies however just looked away from the man, embarrassed. But Bunny 1 was much more embarrassed than Bunny 2 since the pasta shape in question was his favorite pasta. Bunny 2 did his best not to say I told you so, but his smugness was tough to hide.
“Well, I guess I’m going to reevaluate my favorite shape.” Bunny 1 said to Bunny 2.
“Sometimes you have to hear your opinion come out of someone else’s mouth to realize just how much you dislike it…”
“Cool moral.” Said Bunny 2 to Bunny 1. Then the two bunnies made their way to the dairy alternatives section to pick up some almond milk.
The Higgs Weldon is an online humor magazine with funny articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was founded in the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!