Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off to the play!
You spent a small fortune, you have tickets in hand. You know all of the lyrics, can recite on demand
But it’s not just the soundtrack, it’s the mixtape too, and the remix edition from Phillipa Soo
And don’t forget Twitter – there’s updates galore! From photos backstage to a bit from the score
For the true believers there’s the original book, a whole month of reading to finish it took
Oh the places you’ll go with your Hamilton obsession, but you’re just the latest in a long fan procession
And you won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Finally that hip hop will soon come in handy, your parents who scorned it now think that it’s dandy
They’ll want tickets too, they love Lin-Manuel! But In the Heights isn’t ringing a bell
For you’re an original, you saw this all coming, before Public Theater reviews were a-buzzing
But did you see it then? No, you big dork
You had long moved away from the city of New York
And once things caught on, well then you were a goner
Prices and lines for the tickets got longer
But now you’re off to great places, it’s your turn, it’s your day
To see this gosh darnit Hamilton play
And soon all that humming and singing will pay off
When you too can laud your status over those who have not
Because what good is Broadway without some cache?
For purity! For art!…is what they all say
But we know better, you sly silky fox
You scoff at the balcony seats, prefer seats in a box
Cuz Hamilton’s nothing if you’re not experiencing the best
Cuz you are the true believer, and they’re just the rest
The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!