Ricky Cavanaugh
Language arts p.4
Persusive essay

Palm Trees Are Honestly Sick

            If you don’t like palm trees, your wrong. Palm trees are objectively the best kind of tree or bush you could have in your yard. If you’re an adult with a paycheck and you don’t spend it on some tight palm trees you’re a fucking idiot. Honestly, palm trees are sick.

            They’re the only kind of tree that looks good. Other trees are boring forest trees, but palm trees are on sunny ass beaches. Where would you rather be: the fucking forest? Or drunk on a beach? For me, personally, it’s the beach.

            My older brother has an inflatable palm tree in his dorm room at WSU and he gets laid more than you can fucking imagine. I’m not saying it’s because of the palm tree, but that shit doesn’t hurt.

            The best part of any movie is when the main guy arrives in Cali and his buddies drive him down a street with a ton of fucking palm trees. Their like, “welcome to Hollywood,” and hes all, “I could get used to this.”

            The fact that this school doesn’t have any palm trees is a fucking travesty. This school is a fucking joke.

            One time I went to a resort in Puerto Vallarta with my grandma. I stole a super beergarita from the restaurant and drank it under a palm tree near the jacuzzis. When security woke me up the next day I was like, “this is cool as hell.”

            Don’t you think palm trees are good? Especially after reading this? If you don’t, shouldn’t you?

            In conclusion: just go to fucking Home Depot already. You can get small ones for cheap.


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