Pre-*Existential* Conditions Also Not Covered By The Republican Health Care Plan
By
October 11, 2017

Imminent dread at ever-looming nuclear war

Hopeless despair that your views aren’t properly represented in government

Ongoing confirmation that hell is older white Christian men making decisions about your body on your behalf

Lack of Vitamin D from staying indoors all day reading pre-revolution Russian literature

Dry eye from wistful glances back to a time when participatory democracy really meant something, ya know?

Anxiety from sipping too much black coffee while pondering yet again if Bernie Sanders could have won

A crushed soul as you realize all historical civilizations have ended in tyrannical religiosity

The gnawing feeling that, I mean, nothing matters anyway, we’re all going to die sooner or later

Cancer

 

 

 

 
 

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