Psych Study
October 15, 2013

I’ll pay you $5 to participate in my psych study if the following things make you depressed:


Bad grades

An essay about a raccoon laying down a jaw-dropping beat

When someone you just met gets a bad grade on that raccoon essay

Not listening to Morrissey songs with that friend afterward

The price of matching bat costumes the two of you can wear together

Not helping that friend rewrite the essay

I’d still really like it to be about the raccoon if possible, but it’s up to you

Unsolved problems on math homework

E.g. How much time would it take for a person who is 5 feet tall to sink into quicksand at an average speed of 0.30 meters per minute? (HINT: Remember to convert meters to feet.)

Undeciphered French

How hard it is to put together a tandem bicycle I bought online for my psych study

There’s also a basket on the front for our raccoon teddy bear



The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!