Robert Durst’s New TV Show
By
May 4, 2015

Capitalizing on the success of HBO’s The Jinx, Bravo TV is airing an all new reality series in which we follow eccentric millionaire and known killer Robert Durst around Manhattan as he goes about his daily life and engages in oddball antics.

WhatAboutBob

 

Episode 1
Bob wants to pay a visit to his brother Douglas to bring him candy, which causes an argument with Mrs. Durst, “Why give that fucking asshole, anything!?”

“Just to say ‘no hard feelings.’ I’ll just give it to him and leave. Maybe I’ll just stick around a see if he eats a little.”

“You can’t even get near him. You’ll violate the restraining order.”

Bob gives up on the candy idea and instead goes shopping for a new wig.

 

Episode 2
Bob goes to have coffee with his good friend and attorney Dick DeGuernin. Over americanos, Dick explains that authorities believe they are close to finding the missing head of Morris Black. “Say what’d you do with that head, Bob?”

“Oh, who remembers? Who keeps track of these things?”

Dick stays for ice cream.

 

Episode 3
Bob’s wife Charatan interviews a potential new housekeeper after the last one mysteriously quits and disappears. Bob takes a trip to the country.

 

Episode 4
Bob is arrested for shoplifting (again) after a grocery store worker in Vermont catches him stealing eggs. No charges are pressed since there are no eggs to be found, though the worker insists, “The guy fucking swallowed them whole.”

 

Episode 5
Bob comes back to Manhattan to see his wife. They spend a night together with Bob sleeping peacefully as Charatan watches over him from an armchair. The next day, both Dursts get skin peels.

 

Episode 6
Documentary film maker Andrew Jarecki calls to ask Bob, “Did you mail me a dead rat?” to which Bob replies, “No, but I’m glad to hear you got it,” after which Andrew asks if Bob would like to do a follow up interview. Mrs. Durst takes a nap in a locked bathroom. Bob goes shopping for a new pet rat.

 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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