The first thing she says will make you think. The second will break your heart. Why can’t we all be this brave?
You thought you were clicking on a life-affirming article where a little girl’s innocence defeats small town bigotry! There’s a word for people like you: dumb!
What was your plan here? Click an article with a vague headline, spend ten seconds scanning it, feel better about yourself, then head back to Reddit? You monster. You deserve these banner ads!
If a little girl did interrupt a town hall meeting to talk about how we should all “love each other unconditionally,” she’d probably get pepper sprayed! And the sheriff would run for mayor on the “I Pepper Sprayed Eileen” ticket. And he’d win! And he’d outlaw guys hugging!
Your sentimentality has made us rich!! We’re ROLLING in Google Ad-Words revenues!
While you’re here, maybe you’ll enjoy some of the other articles on our site:
Thanks again, saps!
Article originally published on Upworthy.
The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!