Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs: 2016 Edition
By
January 12, 2016

1. Thirsty

Although very saddened by Snow White’s apple induced coma, Thirsty is still extremely vocal about his desire to hit the club, declaring that it’s “Fairies get in free night” therefore fairies will have more cash to spend on drinks, thereby increasing his odds. Snow White would have wanted it this way.

2. Brunchy

Unable to fully process and address his pain regarding Snow White’s condition, Brunchy deals with his sorrows the only way he knows: an elaborate brunch session complete with several egg white omelettes, latte art and a rogue pastry. His emergency coping mechanism is sobbing into a $30 cold brew.

3. Fleeky

After discovering Snow White’s unconscious state, Fleeky is devastated yet still manages to don the most perfectly knit cap as well as a fresh pair of Yeezys.

4. Turnty

Don’t get me wrong, Turnty is not thrilled upon hearing what has happened to Snow White, and yet he’s still down to dim the lights, pump up the jams and explore what the tiniest bite of that apple combined with Molly does to him.

5. Yaaaassssy

Is this particular dwarf devastated by the news of Snow White’s tragic incident? Yaaaassssss girl yaaaasssss.

6. Shady

Emotionally wrecked by the shocking and saddening news of Snow White, Shady is unsure of where to direct his anger and has been throwing shade to absolutely everyone… Friends, lovers and coworkers; no one is safe from the layers and depths of Shady’s side eye.

7. Basic

“Thoughts and prayers,” Basic tweeted upon hearing the heartbreaking news. Racking his brain, he snapped a selfie of himself crying, draped it in Amaro filter and posted. For his final move he penned a short novel on Facebook discussing how he has always preferred green apples to red apples and although all of the dwarves are sad, he is probably the most sad.

Snow White

Snow White is Rebecca Richardson’s DJ name. She DJs at her friend’s dad’s uncle’s bar when she is not too busy with her main gig as a self proclaimed lifestyle blogger.

 
 

The Higgs Weldon is a humor website with funny stories, articles, cartoons, and one liners. It was started by the Los Angeles stand-up comedy community, but takes submissions from everybody. Please read and enjoy our jokes!


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